I think that it's a norm that in every woman's life, engage, married or otherwise that we have is "victims" of infidelity. Whether we choose to be the one who cheats or whether we are cheated on, it leaves an ache in our hearts that almost finds a permanent place in one of the chambers. Be it a taste, smell or song we often reflect on that time in our lives when we were so hurt or were the cause of the heartache and believe me its not nice to be on either side of that situation. I can openly and honestly say that I was a 'victim" of infidelity and the honest truth is I have learnt to forget or rather chose to but forgiving is still a long way off. I was according to me "happily " engaged in December last year. And now, I am busy of doing preparation for my wedding in November. I have to choose for cameraman, boutique, make-up, souvenir, wedding invitation and many more.
A few days before the engagement, my fiancée is fall down from his truck. I don’t know how it happened. At that time I was attending wedding of my cousin. I cannot straightly go to see him. His uncle brings my fiancée to the hospital. I just have a time to visit him in the afternoon. I’m very pity of him because the medicine from hospital is not helping him so much. I took him to the pharmacy and buy a medicine that can help him reduce his pain. After he takes that pill, he feels sleepy. I just watching TV when is I looked him sleeping peacefully. He might be very tired. Suddenly his phone is vibrating. There is one message in. I open his hand phone and read his message. I feel so sad, very disappointed and I feel very anger. That is so many message from girl that I don’t know where they come. One girl call him “SAYANG”, another girl call him “DARLING” and many more. If I know who send that message, honestly I will go straight to her. I will kill all of them by myself.
At that time, I send a message two or three of them and asking what is their relationship with my fiancée. I received a strange message apply informing me that they was having an affair. They are lover for many month. I confronted him and from that moment onwards my life spiraled out of control and downhill all the way.
The good thing is that being lied and cheated on changes you in a way that you never dreamed imaginable. Resilience and strength now become a quality that you could never associate with your own personality. It makes you suspect every move, person and story that you're told. It makes you question everybody and suspect everything. Sometimes it makes you feel like a fool after but how can you be blamed. Unfortunately a few too many women I know do not survive this betrayal.
Do you know what I have learnt? I have learnt that I am the most important person in my life. Without me there is no sweet aunty to lyssa, no lover or whatever. I am the center of my own being. If I know that I am putting myself in an uncompromising position and this is going to be harmful to me I extract myself no matter what the circumstances. I understand when our friends encourage separation and so forth. Do they realize that this is a person that you are in love with? Do they realize that this person has been the center of your universe? I have taught both my younger sisters (they are not the marrying age as yet) that even when they decide to marry their husbands should not be the center of their lives .He should fit in like a good puzzle piece. If he should decide to do a bunk, she still has a life albeit a piece short but they will survive with the rest.
Every woman has the ability to survive this kind of heartache. How you come out of it is the important thing. Yes we are together again and we are in stage of preparing our wedding ceremony, but every so now and again the topic comes up. One day, we can look back and laugh about it. I wish it goes away permanently someday.... IT HURTS SO MUCH YOU CAN SOMETIMES FEEL YOUR HEART PAIN!!!
