HEALING FROM BROKEN HEART

Hello my friend, i have not write in my blog for a couple of days. I have been very busy with my work and also my preparation for wedding. Very stressful. So i cannot think anymore. i dont have any idea to write in my blog. Hoever, today i would like to talk about healing from broken heart.

It sounds trite, but there's always something you can learn from every experience. Often it's the seed of a current or past "failure" that fuels you to the very success that you've always dreamed of. Past relationships give you a clearer picture of what you want and what you don't want in a relationship if you take the time to examine them.

It's the power of contrast that living in an unfulfilling relationship may give you. When i was in my secondary school, i'm falling in love with one guy. Honestly, that is my first love. When i was with him, i really can feel how strong is love. At that time, we always thinking about our family, planning about knid, planning about career and many more. We share a lot of thing. However, after 4 years, after the break-up, I realized that this relationship had taught me and that it wasn't a "failure."

This relationship had helped me to define the type of partner i would really resonate with--someone who was on a similar spiritual path, and someone i could have a deep connection with.

My partner left me because of career. He left me in a third year of our relation. At that time, i was 16years old. He join Malaysia International Shipping Corporation(MISC) and need him to be one of crew in MISCs' ship for many month.

I learned to bless the relationship and let it go to make room for the type of partner I wanted to be with and let him to find a more appropriate mate.

I learned that my relationship wasn't a "failure" because of what it taught me about myself and his life- what i wanted and what i didn't want in a relationship.

People come and go in our lives. Some people are with us for a brief instant, for five days or for fifty or more years. The impact of these relationships on our lives can all be great.

Sometimes we don't understand why we are involved with someone in a particular relationship or why someone has such a hold on us. We don't understand why someone comes into our life for a brief time and then leaves. I really suffer when my fiancee cheating on me for many times until i cannot count. But now, i take it as my past experienced. I dont want to experience it anymore. What is happened is teach me to be more appreciate to myself.

What we've learned is that if a relationship isn't working out, it is not a bad thing or a failure that our society likes to label it. It just may be that you have learned what it is that you were supposed to learn by being in a relationship with that other person and it's time to move on to other "lessons."

We're not suggesting that you take your relationships lightly and throw them away at the first sign of conflict.What we are saying is that the purpose of all relationships is to help us to grow--personally and spiritually. Even the relationships that are the most troubling to us can be gifts in learning more about ourselves.

So instead of looking at a relationship that didn't work out the way you had hoped as a failure, I suggest you look at it as a growth experience and move forward consciously by learning from it.

LOSING TO WIN

Win back a lost love can be difficult if both have broken up on a bad note or if there had been more negatives during the time of the breakup. You even gone insane trying to find out whether he still have relationship with other girls. Sometimes I have been through drunk dialing him like ten to twenty times a day.

Before trying to win back a lost love, one thing important is that people around can always help. Your family, shared friends all can help in bringing the both of you back together. I have seen couples come back within not months because of help from close friends that were encouraging and helped push both sides together. I would like to thank to my friend, SHA. She help me and my fiancee to be together.

You have to calm down yourself and find out all the real reasons why both of you left the relationship. Was it because of the negatives in the relationship? What positives were there in the relationship? Did both of you like the same things? Like movies, going out together and enjoy scenery or a particular activity that both of you enjoy? Don't underestimate shared beliefs between the both of you, like beliefs about religion and about family. All these can help put light on what is truly positive about the relationship and help you to win back a lost love.

For the date that you want to bring your lost love out, do something very simple and short so that both of you do not concentrate on any of the negatives. Put your best foot forward during the short date.

I have also found out that on how to win back a lost love, it was not hate that I was fighting with, but indifference. Slowly, as time passed, I found that my partner slowly care about me or I simply i get my love's life slowly. This is good for me on how to win back a lost love. Many seemingly impossible couples and teens could reunite together happily even near divorce and solve relationship breakups. So, you have to help yourself and trying to make it again as a new life. Just left every bad things behind you.

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

JEALOUSY

Everybody knows the feeling of being jealous. We envy somebody's career, wealth, good relationship, and generally speaking better life style. There is also the same feeling when we are in love. It is called jealousy. The jealousy can ruin a good relationship even though it is said jealousy is a sign of love.

Jealousy brings into a relationship unwanted pressure, disturbs the people we are jealous of, and most of all disturbs ourselves. That is what I feel. I do not believe in his love and stability. I would like to have my partner only for myself as I feel I am only with him and only for him. I am afraid of any rivals.

Different look of my partner, mysterious smile, strange phone conversation, these all make I’m feel insecure. And then the problem begins. I start to follow him, ' listen to his phone conversations, or even I start opening his mail. And I was sooooo shock when I saw half-naked picture send by one girl name SITI ALORA. If you want to see her picture, you just type Siti Loramanja in google and you can see in the 1st page Siti Lora on Netlog. Then u will see her profile. That is the girls who send half-naked picture to my fiancee.

I start asking a lot of questions about time he did not spend with me. When he comes late I think only about his unfaithfulness. I start waiting in front of his house when I feel something is not right. Normally at nigh laaaa because when I call his hand phone, it always not active and sometimes he does not pick up my phone call. A long those times, he always gives me thousand million of excuse. Sometimes it’s sound very stupid.

This way I not only terrorize my partner but myself as well. Jealousy is like an illness but can it be cured? I have to fight over this feeling. If I start doing it is a first step to get rid of jealousy.

I’ll try to find a few tips how to cope with my own jealousy. Here, I want to share with you. First, in your free time try to do something useful and do not think what he is doing at this moment. Look at yourself in the mirror. Take care of your appearance and you will feel more attractive. You will convince yourself that your partner will look at you differently. Most of all do not let your imagination take control over you and do not ask a lot of questions. Relationships based on trust are happier and last longer. Try to fight over your own jealousy or help your partner to do that.

EXPERIENCE IS THE BEST TEACHER

I think that it's a norm that in every woman's life, engage, married or otherwise that we have is "victims" of infidelity. Whether we choose to be the one who cheats or whether we are cheated on, it leaves an ache in our hearts that almost finds a permanent place in one of the chambers. Be it a taste, smell or song we often reflect on that time in our lives when we were so hurt or were the cause of the heartache and believe me its not nice to be on either side of that situation.

I can openly and honestly say that I was a 'victim" of infidelity and the honest truth is I have learnt to forget or rather chose to but forgiving is still a long way off. I was according to me "happily " engaged in December last year. And now, I am busy of doing preparation for my wedding in November. I have to choose for cameraman, boutique, make-up, souvenir, wedding invitation and many more.

A few days before the engagement, my fiancée is fall down from his truck. I don’t know how it happened. At that time I was attending wedding of my cousin. I cannot straightly go to see him. His uncle brings my fiancée to the hospital. I just have a time to visit him in the afternoon. I’m very pity of him because the medicine from hospital is not helping him so much. I took him to the pharmacy and buy a medicine that can help him reduce his pain. After he takes that pill, he feels sleepy. I just watching TV when is I looked him sleeping peacefully. He might be very tired. Suddenly his phone is vibrating. There is one message in. I open his hand phone and read his message. I feel so sad, very disappointed and I feel very anger. That is so many message from girl that I don’t know where they come. One girl call him “SAYANG”, another girl call him “DARLING” and many more. If I know who send that message, honestly I will go straight to her. I will kill all of them by myself.

At that time, I send a message two or three of them and asking what is their relationship with my fiancée. I received a strange message apply informing me that they was having an affair. They are lover for many month. I confronted him and from that moment onwards my life spiraled out of control and downhill all the way.

The good thing is that being lied and cheated on changes you in a way that you never dreamed imaginable. Resilience and strength now become a quality that you could never associate with your own personality. It makes you suspect every move, person and story that you're told. It makes you question everybody and suspect everything. Sometimes it makes you feel like a fool after but how can you be blamed. Unfortunately a few too many women I know do not survive this betrayal.

Do you know what I have learnt? I have learnt that I am the most important person in my life. Without me there is no sweet aunty to lyssa, no lover or whatever. I am the center of my own being. If I know that I am putting myself in an uncompromising position and this is going to be harmful to me I extract myself no matter what the circumstances. I understand when our friends encourage separation and so forth. Do they realize that this is a person that you are in love with? Do they realize that this person has been the center of your universe? I have taught both my younger sisters (they are not the marrying age as yet) that even when they decide to marry their husbands should not be the center of their lives .He should fit in like a good puzzle piece. If he should decide to do a bunk, she still has a life albeit a piece short but they will survive with the rest.

Every woman has the ability to survive this kind of heartache. How you come out of it is the important thing. Yes we are together again and we are in stage of preparing our wedding ceremony, but every so now and again the topic comes up. One day, we can look back and laugh about it. I wish it goes away permanently someday.... IT HURTS SO MUCH YOU CAN SOMETIMES FEEL YOUR HEART PAIN!!!

UNFAITHFUL AND FORGIVENESS

Hi, I’m back. Today I’d like to talk about unfaithful in relationships and forgiveness. Why? Because without forgiving those who make the mistake, we will never be able to forget and it still be your nightmare. And when I say, "forget", I mean in the sense that the wrong will never be brought up again to hurt you.

It is very difficult to answer, why unfaithful is happen in relationship. There are a lot of reasons for cheating. People cheat because they want to be loved and desired but maybe the current partners do not give it. For me, the simple curiosity of sexual experience with different person leads to unfaithfulness. Other people able to cheat are those who look for a perfect lover. They are never faithful, because they always hope they will find a better lover than the current one.
A person becomes more involved in a serious relationship even if he ensures himself that it was spontaneous and unexpected. They start a flirt because they do not feel fully satisfied and they hope that this flirt will fulfill their sexual desires. That is what I conclude base on my experienced with unfaithful. On the other hand, unexpected flirts are created by the situation as when your partner went for a trip, they are alone and maybe they meet by chance somebody interesting. They take advantage on you. So please don’t trust him so much. I think this kind of cheating is not a symptom of some problems in your current relationship. If you experienced he’s cheating on you then it may be worth to think over your current relationship. When one of the partners cheat it means this one does not really love or is not happy in this relationship.

One psychologist says guiltiness is always a signal. If you really love him, you can have a sense when he’s cheating on you. Understanding it will protect us from cheating. In fact, a human being always fights the sexual ego - all crazy fantasies and temptations. If somebody thinks he is different probably this person denies own sexuality.

Dealing with relationship disappointment

My fiancée and I met each other about 4 years ago. In the time we have been with each other we have fallen deeply in love and have spent every free moment possible with one another. I truly and honestly believe that he is the one -- I had never believed that such a warm, loving, and basically complete man could ever exist. Through him, I have become a more proud and happy person while living the happiest time of my life.


However, I also experienced bad thing when he is disloyal to me. I know how it feels when you put high hopes on someone then you get disappointed. I know how painful it is to lose all of your hopes in one second or in singe moment. I know how can a relation be to someone before its just lost that way. But do you know why did you get disappointed in such relationship? You got disappointed because you were confident, you got disappointed because you thought that you deserve what you were going after, you got disappointed because you were having good expectations. About your attractiveness; you got disappointed because you are strong!!Just think of it, in case that you were one hundred percent sure that you won’t get it, would you have felt disappointed? Off course not, only the confident gets disappointed in relationships.

How to deal with relationship disappointment?
After you knew that you are a confident and an optimistic person, its time to learn how to get over relationship disappointment, the following practices will help you deal with your feelings of disappointment:

• He is not the one: one of most popular myths among people is believing that there is something called “the one”. If you had just a basic knowledge about the psychology of falling in love you would have knew that anyone having similarities to your “one” could be the one. You may even find someone who is better than your one, your mind just searches for certain traits, when it finds them in someone you may fall in love with him, so not finding someone other than your “one” doesn’t mean that he was the one, It just means that you didn’t meet the other person yet and that you may meet him any time soon. Don’t cry for the one, there are lots of other ones out there.






• Attachment can delay your recovery: the more you will attach yourself to that person (after the relationship is over) the more you will find it harder to get over the relationship disappointment. Attaching yourself in nothing more than having hope that he will return back, hearing music that reminds you of him and going to the same places you used to go to with him. Am not asking you to lose hope am just asking you to make sure if there is a hope or not, and if not cut the attachment as soon as you can(see the stages of recovery and how to make them shorter)






• Think of the future: what do you think the effect this event will have on you ten years later? probably It will be nothing!! it will Just be some memories with almost no associated emotions, know that in most times you correctly get rid of your attachment you will recover and become stronger than before and in the future this event will only be a part of your experience database.

It's Hard To Be Me...

I can't begin to talk about my life without mentioning Zin Azharee, my fiancée. He is my love, my heart, my soul and my everything… I can explain how important he is in my life. He hasn't seen very much of me lately because I have been busy with work. As I write this, all of you can see the pictures of him or picture two of us together in my friendster and also my blogspot.
I love him so much, and I know that I am the luckiest women in the world to have him. I am pretty confident in saying that without his support, I probably would have given up by now, more than once when things got tougher than I could handle. Especially when he gets involved with another women.
I'd like to pray for me and my fiancée. We are making a lot of changes in our life, to be together, that may affect our life. I try not to worry but it’s unavoidable. I just ask God to help us be good husband and wife in the future and allow me to support my family.
Now, I want to all of you to share my experienced with him. It’s not easy to be the best for him. I’ll try my best to be me and I have to change myself to be the best for him. Before this, “I think he is cheating on me"… I keep thinking of it everyday. Sometimes it becomes my nightmare. If you have a same experience like me, first step you want to take is to "make sure". It is very important. Just do it. Be patience. Allah is always with us. One day, everything will clear as u want. Trust me. Allah will show you what ever evidence to make sure either he is cheating on you or not.

But the most important is to calm down and put yourself together... remember an easy answer is better than a strong answer that brings fire to the conversation.Talk to him.. Tell him... "Look it seems to me that you are changing, I just see it happening and I do not know what to do? It is me or is there something new that you might want to let me know?You are important to me and I want you with me only if you are going to keep our relationship save...which means no cheating and no lies...

Due between questions "let him talk" do not jump in the middle of his conversation.... show him respect and then he will be able to tell you... (Haha… some guy like my fiancée will never do that until the evidence in front of him. I mean until he cannot say anything)Now in case he says "I found another person and I want to be with her".... then...you will act like a princess "calm down and ask him to consider....if not... tell him to leave and be strong"but if he says "no I’m no cheating" the tell himI've been thinking and I believe with my heart that this is a good time for you and I to make this relationship a more mature one...I'd like to get married and see what he says...

Stay calm. Be a strong woman and get your man. Don’t let his to another....u MUST act him good, so he will stay with u. Remember strong woman, don’t show any wrong action like I did (Hah.. I don’t want to share la what happen to me, so stupid…) Be clever ok. Everything will be good.

Feel free to visit my blog http://lyssahana.blogspot.com/

or my friendsfer mellyssa_182@yahoo.com.sg.

LOVE IS SACRIFICE(HUHU...so sedih ooo)

Here's a short story i would like to share with youThere was a blind girl who hated herself just because she's blindShe hated everyone, except her loving boyfriendHe's always there for herShe said that if she could only see the world, she would marry her boyfriendOne day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she could see everything, including her boyfriendHer boyfriend asked her, "now that you can see the world, will you marry me?" The girl was shockedwhen she saw that her boyfriend is blind too, and refused to marry himHer boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter to her saying : Just take care of my eyes dear!!!

Huhu...so sedih wooo. How to find this kind of men. Is it still existing in this world?

LIFE IS HARD

For when life is hard
It would not be fun when life is so easy
It is a good experience, it makes me stronger
I take the challenge
Life is hard
Life sucks, and then you die...

Life is not hard, it only needs some positive thinking
Life is a bitch
Of course life is hard, that's why they pay you the big bucks
Such is life, and it's getting sucher and sucher

Life is unfair
Life is a series of disappointments, followed by death
I used to think I had it bad
because I had no shoes, then I met a man with no feet
Most of the mountains we have in life are ones we build ourselves.
When God gives you lemons, make lemonade

LOVE TRIANGLE. Beware of it!!!!!!

Have you ever involved in love triangle or expererience of love triangle? Most of women in this world don't want to experience this. When a man involve in love triangle, they will tend to thinking about having wife more than one. In muslim world, it is call polygamy. Islam has emphasized that taking advantage of the permission of polygamy is conditional on the observance of several factors and circumstances. If the man lacks those material and moral conditions, or he is not competent enough to satisfy all of them, then he will not be eligible to take more than one wife. Also, Islam has emphasized that the basic objective of healthy marital life comes from mutual love and benevolence between the husband and the wife which normally can be found in the form of regular marriage - monogamy. Preservation of that cordiality, stability, and purity in the family life can be seen clearly in the Al-Qur’an doctrines as well as in the sunnah of our prophet, Nabi Muhammad S.A.W.

According to wikipedia, a love triangle is a romantic relationskip involving three people. While it can refer to two people independently romantically linked with a third, it usually implies that each of the three people has some kind of relationship to the other two. The relationships can be friendships, romantic, familial (often siblings), or even pre-existing hatred between rivals. Addition of bisexual or homosexual characters adds many possible combinations of sexes, and of romantic and sexual interactions.

The term "love triangle" almost always implies that the arrangement is unsuitable to one or more of the people involved. A similar arrangement that is agreed upon by all parties is sometimes called a triad, a type of polyamory, although polyamory usually implies sexual relations. Within the context of monogamy, love triangles are inherently unstable. Unrequired love and jealousy are common themes in love triangles. Though rare, love triangles have been known to lead to murder or suicide committed by the rejected lover.

For men, poligamy is sound like having a ferrari or having a big house in Las Vegas City. Something that they wait for so many years. But they are not thinking about the feeling of their couple. It is really hurt you know... Women would never have accepted polygamy. I respect for the one who accept it because she must have a big heart and more n more patience. the women try to be brave, but no woman is able to share a husband whom she loves with one or more other women. Only a few of the women involved in polygamy asked for a divorce simply because it was not a popular thing to do lorr.....

I pray everyday that i will have a lovely husband and i am the only wife that he has. So, we will stay happy forever and ever without a crazy women (widower like Rohkiah-HRD, Integrated Device Tech (M) S/B, Bayan Lepas Free Industrial Zone Penang and Sue-Subang). This is the women who have intention to destroy my relationship with my fiancee. Fow women in this world, you better becarefull with this desperate widower.

WITHOUT YOU - MARIAH CAREY

No I can't forget this evening
Or your face as youwere leaving
But I guess that's just the way
The story goes.....
You always smile but in your eyes
Your sorrow shows
Yes it shows.....

No I can't forget tomorrow
When I think of all my sorrow
When I had you there
But then I let you go
And now it's only fair
That I should let you know
What you should know
I can't live,If living is without you
I can't live,I can't give anymore
I can't live,If living is without you
I can't give,I can't give anymore

Well I can't forget this evening
Or your face as youwere leaving
But I guess that's just the way the story goes
You always smilebut in your eyes
Your sorrow shows
Yes it shows.....
I can't live,If living is without you
I can't live,I can't give any more
I can't live,If living is without you
I can't give,I can't give anymore

*This song i dedicate special for my fiancee...

Tips for true Love...!!!

The most importance person in my life is my beloved fiancée, Zinazharee. He brings light and joy to my life beyond measure. He is my everything. I can't live without him even a second. For the 25years, this is the first time that i found the true love in my life. For me, true love means understanding. One trusts another more than him/herself and feels ready to satisfy every little need of a partner. Two people don’t stop for a second looking into each other eyes. Its is not easy to find true love. There is so many this things happen to my relationship. We have been together for 4 years. It is not easy to be me. With him, i learn how to be more patience, how to be more understanding, and many more. But the most important is how to make myself better than other women. I give him the answer why he must choose me as his wife.

The best way to tackle your love is by you seek ways and means of helping his lonely side by trying to fill it up with sense and feel of such pleasantness, satisfaction, and happiness; which he expects and gets in return by being loyal and attached to his parents.Work hard with labour, industry, and efforts for the purpose of taking the burden of worries; off his heart and mind; of that of seeking and gaining such pleasantness, satisfaction, and happiness; for his self; which he expects and gets in return by being loyal and attached to his parents.. Share his worries and concerns by practically working towards removing them. Practise by learning to be qualitatively gratituous to his parents and by being concerned as well; for their well being, pleasantness, satisfaction, and happiness; like he him self is towards them. You only can do it and have to do it; since nature has vested such abilities in women only.Give a new focus and direction to your natural abilities; by re- focussing and re-directing them upon his parents; instead of driving them for seeking ways and means; and for trying to tackle the husband; for making him attentive towards the self. Let him know; but with pleasantness, satisfaction, and happiness of his parents; that you have shifted your focus from your own expectations of care and love from him for your self and the child if you have, and have instead given it a new focus, direction and reason; that of being gratituous to his parents and concerned as well about their well being; and all this for the only purpose of helping him remove the worries of his self from his heart and mind. Do not be very explicit and loud about all this. Let him judge it his self; by seeing the qualities of pleasantness, satisfaction, and happiness of your self working in the hearts and minds; and actions and activities of his parents instead.If your efforts are truthfull you will find that he is a free and faithfull man; ever willing and ready with love, care, and attention for you.

True love is not something you can find; it's something that you feel and it comes to you. You'll feel like that person is the person you want to spend your life with forever. True love is something that comes only once in a lifetime and it's a very special feeling when it does come. Keep in mind that your true love may not be someone new, but rather someone who was there all along whose company suddenly touches your heart and soul in a way that nothing else has. True love is a blessing in which we are all meant to discover when the time and the person are right. That is what i did to my fiancee. I'm so excited to wait my wedding that will coming very soon.