FORGIVE BUT NEVER FORGET!!!

I have problem of forgiving people but i NEVER forget…..if someone hurts me, that’s it.. I came across this article and thought u might enjoy reading it..

http://www.vitalaffirmations.com/forgiveness.htm

Forgiveness is such an important subject that I feel compelled to spend some time explaining its significance. When we hold something unforgiven inside, we are nurturing anger, hatred and resentment or maybe even guilt. These emotions lock us into the moment, continually reliving events, over time all this emotion can become suppressed into the subconscious, but they are still there, consuming our mental and life energy. Until we release ourselves from this cycle, it may prove impossible to move forward.

It really does not matter what the issue was, whether slight or life-shatteringly traumatic. If you want to move on you must let it go. To do this we must forgive. To forgive someone does not mean that that you condone their behaviour simply that you forgive them, and release them. By releasing and forgiving them, you release yourself. Some people hold onto their anger, refusing to forgive or let go. They will never move on until they do. In fact quite the reverse, by allowing such emotions to ferment inside, they grow and can become all consuming, their whole life becoming defined by whatever the event was. They are no longer in control of their life or living the life they want. They are living a life that is directed by their anger and hurt.

How our lives are, is often a reflection of our reactions to the ups and downs of life. If we choose to accept the good and release the bad, we are able to maintain control over our lives and keep our sense of direction. If however we focus on the bad things that have happened to us then these will simply grow, continually manifesting our own dark thoughts and divert us from seeking what we really want.

If you or your life is "stuck", then it is well worth looking back to see if there is anything unforgiven in your past. Remember to forgive everyone, especially yourself. So many people trudge through their lives burdened with guilt for this or that, forgive yourself and let it go.

Remember, life is in the now, the past is already finished and dead and cannot be changed. Nothing you can do now, can ever change the past, yet it is amazing how many people squander their emotional and life energy, consumed with anger or guilt about the past. In this moment now, you have your power, the power to make your choices, take your action, to make a difference. You have no power in the past and you have no assurance of power in the future.

If you want to feel free, released from the past then you must forgive. Forgive everyone, especially yourself. I know how difficult it is to overcome our natural and very human feelings of anger, guilt, resentment and fear. The basis of them can seem and may well be completely justified, you may be completely right to have these emotions and it is OK to experience them. However, these emotions damage your ability to move on, you must accept your emotions but then be prepared to let them go. To release yourself, you must forgive. Until you do you will remain the victim with your life locked into all those negative emotions.

Look around you, do you know anyone like that? Some tragedy or injustice has been suffered and now the entire life of that person is defined by their anger and resentment. Every positive thought, every inspired moment, all of life's little pleasures are subsumed with their overwhelming feelings of anger, resentment, even desire for revenge. No matter how justified their emotions are, what good is it doing them? The past can never be changed. Life is full of tragedy and joy, it is not the events of life so much as how we respond to them that defines how joyous and successful our lives are.

It is not the events of life

but how we respond to

them that defines the joy and

success of our lives.

HEALING FROM BROKEN HEART

Hello my friend, i have not write in my blog for a couple of days. I have been very busy with my work and also my preparation for wedding. Very stressful. So i cannot think anymore. i dont have any idea to write in my blog. Hoever, today i would like to talk about healing from broken heart.

It sounds trite, but there's always something you can learn from every experience. Often it's the seed of a current or past "failure" that fuels you to the very success that you've always dreamed of. Past relationships give you a clearer picture of what you want and what you don't want in a relationship if you take the time to examine them.

It's the power of contrast that living in an unfulfilling relationship may give you. When i was in my secondary school, i'm falling in love with one guy. Honestly, that is my first love. When i was with him, i really can feel how strong is love. At that time, we always thinking about our family, planning about knid, planning about career and many more. We share a lot of thing. However, after 4 years, after the break-up, I realized that this relationship had taught me and that it wasn't a "failure."

This relationship had helped me to define the type of partner i would really resonate with--someone who was on a similar spiritual path, and someone i could have a deep connection with.

My partner left me because of career. He left me in a third year of our relation. At that time, i was 16years old. He join Malaysia International Shipping Corporation(MISC) and need him to be one of crew in MISCs' ship for many month.

I learned to bless the relationship and let it go to make room for the type of partner I wanted to be with and let him to find a more appropriate mate.

I learned that my relationship wasn't a "failure" because of what it taught me about myself and his life- what i wanted and what i didn't want in a relationship.

People come and go in our lives. Some people are with us for a brief instant, for five days or for fifty or more years. The impact of these relationships on our lives can all be great.

Sometimes we don't understand why we are involved with someone in a particular relationship or why someone has such a hold on us. We don't understand why someone comes into our life for a brief time and then leaves. I really suffer when my fiancee cheating on me for many times until i cannot count. But now, i take it as my past experienced. I dont want to experience it anymore. What is happened is teach me to be more appreciate to myself.

What we've learned is that if a relationship isn't working out, it is not a bad thing or a failure that our society likes to label it. It just may be that you have learned what it is that you were supposed to learn by being in a relationship with that other person and it's time to move on to other "lessons."

We're not suggesting that you take your relationships lightly and throw them away at the first sign of conflict.What we are saying is that the purpose of all relationships is to help us to grow--personally and spiritually. Even the relationships that are the most troubling to us can be gifts in learning more about ourselves.

So instead of looking at a relationship that didn't work out the way you had hoped as a failure, I suggest you look at it as a growth experience and move forward consciously by learning from it.

LOSING TO WIN

Win back a lost love can be difficult if both have broken up on a bad note or if there had been more negatives during the time of the breakup. You even gone insane trying to find out whether he still have relationship with other girls. Sometimes I have been through drunk dialing him like ten to twenty times a day.

Before trying to win back a lost love, one thing important is that people around can always help. Your family, shared friends all can help in bringing the both of you back together. I have seen couples come back within not months because of help from close friends that were encouraging and helped push both sides together. I would like to thank to my friend, SHA. She help me and my fiancee to be together.

You have to calm down yourself and find out all the real reasons why both of you left the relationship. Was it because of the negatives in the relationship? What positives were there in the relationship? Did both of you like the same things? Like movies, going out together and enjoy scenery or a particular activity that both of you enjoy? Don't underestimate shared beliefs between the both of you, like beliefs about religion and about family. All these can help put light on what is truly positive about the relationship and help you to win back a lost love.

For the date that you want to bring your lost love out, do something very simple and short so that both of you do not concentrate on any of the negatives. Put your best foot forward during the short date.

I have also found out that on how to win back a lost love, it was not hate that I was fighting with, but indifference. Slowly, as time passed, I found that my partner slowly care about me or I simply i get my love's life slowly. This is good for me on how to win back a lost love. Many seemingly impossible couples and teens could reunite together happily even near divorce and solve relationship breakups. So, you have to help yourself and trying to make it again as a new life. Just left every bad things behind you.

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

JEALOUSY

Everybody knows the feeling of being jealous. We envy somebody's career, wealth, good relationship, and generally speaking better life style. There is also the same feeling when we are in love. It is called jealousy. The jealousy can ruin a good relationship even though it is said jealousy is a sign of love.

Jealousy brings into a relationship unwanted pressure, disturbs the people we are jealous of, and most of all disturbs ourselves. That is what I feel. I do not believe in his love and stability. I would like to have my partner only for myself as I feel I am only with him and only for him. I am afraid of any rivals.

Different look of my partner, mysterious smile, strange phone conversation, these all make I’m feel insecure. And then the problem begins. I start to follow him, ' listen to his phone conversations, or even I start opening his mail. And I was sooooo shock when I saw half-naked picture send by one girl name SITI ALORA. If you want to see her picture, you just type Siti Loramanja in google and you can see in the 1st page Siti Lora on Netlog. Then u will see her profile. That is the girls who send half-naked picture to my fiancee.

I start asking a lot of questions about time he did not spend with me. When he comes late I think only about his unfaithfulness. I start waiting in front of his house when I feel something is not right. Normally at nigh laaaa because when I call his hand phone, it always not active and sometimes he does not pick up my phone call. A long those times, he always gives me thousand million of excuse. Sometimes it’s sound very stupid.

This way I not only terrorize my partner but myself as well. Jealousy is like an illness but can it be cured? I have to fight over this feeling. If I start doing it is a first step to get rid of jealousy.

I’ll try to find a few tips how to cope with my own jealousy. Here, I want to share with you. First, in your free time try to do something useful and do not think what he is doing at this moment. Look at yourself in the mirror. Take care of your appearance and you will feel more attractive. You will convince yourself that your partner will look at you differently. Most of all do not let your imagination take control over you and do not ask a lot of questions. Relationships based on trust are happier and last longer. Try to fight over your own jealousy or help your partner to do that.

EXPERIENCE IS THE BEST TEACHER

I think that it's a norm that in every woman's life, engage, married or otherwise that we have is "victims" of infidelity. Whether we choose to be the one who cheats or whether we are cheated on, it leaves an ache in our hearts that almost finds a permanent place in one of the chambers. Be it a taste, smell or song we often reflect on that time in our lives when we were so hurt or were the cause of the heartache and believe me its not nice to be on either side of that situation.

I can openly and honestly say that I was a 'victim" of infidelity and the honest truth is I have learnt to forget or rather chose to but forgiving is still a long way off. I was according to me "happily " engaged in December last year. And now, I am busy of doing preparation for my wedding in November. I have to choose for cameraman, boutique, make-up, souvenir, wedding invitation and many more.

A few days before the engagement, my fiancée is fall down from his truck. I don’t know how it happened. At that time I was attending wedding of my cousin. I cannot straightly go to see him. His uncle brings my fiancée to the hospital. I just have a time to visit him in the afternoon. I’m very pity of him because the medicine from hospital is not helping him so much. I took him to the pharmacy and buy a medicine that can help him reduce his pain. After he takes that pill, he feels sleepy. I just watching TV when is I looked him sleeping peacefully. He might be very tired. Suddenly his phone is vibrating. There is one message in. I open his hand phone and read his message. I feel so sad, very disappointed and I feel very anger. That is so many message from girl that I don’t know where they come. One girl call him “SAYANG”, another girl call him “DARLING” and many more. If I know who send that message, honestly I will go straight to her. I will kill all of them by myself.

At that time, I send a message two or three of them and asking what is their relationship with my fiancée. I received a strange message apply informing me that they was having an affair. They are lover for many month. I confronted him and from that moment onwards my life spiraled out of control and downhill all the way.

The good thing is that being lied and cheated on changes you in a way that you never dreamed imaginable. Resilience and strength now become a quality that you could never associate with your own personality. It makes you suspect every move, person and story that you're told. It makes you question everybody and suspect everything. Sometimes it makes you feel like a fool after but how can you be blamed. Unfortunately a few too many women I know do not survive this betrayal.

Do you know what I have learnt? I have learnt that I am the most important person in my life. Without me there is no sweet aunty to lyssa, no lover or whatever. I am the center of my own being. If I know that I am putting myself in an uncompromising position and this is going to be harmful to me I extract myself no matter what the circumstances. I understand when our friends encourage separation and so forth. Do they realize that this is a person that you are in love with? Do they realize that this person has been the center of your universe? I have taught both my younger sisters (they are not the marrying age as yet) that even when they decide to marry their husbands should not be the center of their lives .He should fit in like a good puzzle piece. If he should decide to do a bunk, she still has a life albeit a piece short but they will survive with the rest.

Every woman has the ability to survive this kind of heartache. How you come out of it is the important thing. Yes we are together again and we are in stage of preparing our wedding ceremony, but every so now and again the topic comes up. One day, we can look back and laugh about it. I wish it goes away permanently someday.... IT HURTS SO MUCH YOU CAN SOMETIMES FEEL YOUR HEART PAIN!!!

UNFAITHFUL AND FORGIVENESS

Hi, I’m back. Today I’d like to talk about unfaithful in relationships and forgiveness. Why? Because without forgiving those who make the mistake, we will never be able to forget and it still be your nightmare. And when I say, "forget", I mean in the sense that the wrong will never be brought up again to hurt you.

It is very difficult to answer, why unfaithful is happen in relationship. There are a lot of reasons for cheating. People cheat because they want to be loved and desired but maybe the current partners do not give it. For me, the simple curiosity of sexual experience with different person leads to unfaithfulness. Other people able to cheat are those who look for a perfect lover. They are never faithful, because they always hope they will find a better lover than the current one.
A person becomes more involved in a serious relationship even if he ensures himself that it was spontaneous and unexpected. They start a flirt because they do not feel fully satisfied and they hope that this flirt will fulfill their sexual desires. That is what I conclude base on my experienced with unfaithful. On the other hand, unexpected flirts are created by the situation as when your partner went for a trip, they are alone and maybe they meet by chance somebody interesting. They take advantage on you. So please don’t trust him so much. I think this kind of cheating is not a symptom of some problems in your current relationship. If you experienced he’s cheating on you then it may be worth to think over your current relationship. When one of the partners cheat it means this one does not really love or is not happy in this relationship.

One psychologist says guiltiness is always a signal. If you really love him, you can have a sense when he’s cheating on you. Understanding it will protect us from cheating. In fact, a human being always fights the sexual ego - all crazy fantasies and temptations. If somebody thinks he is different probably this person denies own sexuality.