MUHASABAH DIRI AKAN KEKURANGANMU DAN KEKURANGANKU

Kenapa Dia Curang???

Sakitnya hati!

Orang yg kita cintai telah berlaku curang dalam diam. Paling teruk, ada yg melakukannya terang-terangan di depan mata! Sebenarnya, sebelum kita saling tuduh-menuduh pasangan lebih baik kita memahami sebab-sebab kecurangan pasangan. Kemudian selidik samada faktor tersebut yg telah membuat si dia menjauhkan diri dari anda!

Hidup Terkongkong

Siapa yang suka jika hidupnya diatur pasangan atau dikawal ketat kebebasannya? Ruang kebebasan yg diingini dihimpit ketika berpasangan dengan anda. Sikit2 anda menelefonnya seolah2 tidak percaya kejujurannya. Akibatnya dia berlaku curang untuk membuktikan kepada anda bahawa dia masih berharga di mata orang lain dan memberi pelajaran berguna kepada anda! Dia memulainya dengan rajin berbohong.

Rasa Marah

Percaya atau tidak, rasa marah dapat mengundang kecurangan. Anda mungkin tidak sedar, rasa marah sering terpendam dalam diri pasangan. Dia mungkin tidak meluahkan kerana tidak mahu sengketa atau ketika itu tidak mahu melukakan hati anda. Anda juga sering abaikan perasaannya dengan mengambil mudah dgn tidak mahu meminta maaf. Mungkin anda juga sering menimbulkan kemarahannya dgn melakukan perkara2 yg tidak disukainya seperti mencabar keegoaannya. Oleh itu, cara membebaskan diri yang dianggap paling menyenangkan ialah dengan melakukan kecurangan. Iyalah, marah buat jiwa tertekan dan fikiran tidak lagi berfikir secara rasional.

Rasa Rendah Diri

Dia sayangkan anda tetapi jauh di sudut hatinya berasa rendah diri pada diri sendiri. Anda mungkin terlalu cantik, lebih pandai, lebih kaya dan berharta, lebih tinggi taraf pendidikan dan lebih berjaya dalam karier berbanding dirinya. Dia berasa tersisih apabila anda membawanya di majlis2 sosial yg dilingkungi kawan2 yg berjaya dan lebih berpengaruh. Dia malu utk memberi pendapat kerana berasakan anda lebih pandai dan anda lebih memerlukan nasihat dari kawan yang berlainan jantina. Dia cintakan anda tapi pada waktu yg sama tidak percayakan anda. Dia mungkin beranggapan anda hanya ingin mempermain-mainkannya dan akan meninggalkannya di waktu anda berjumpa dengan org yg setaraf dengan anda. Oleh itu, dia mengambil langkah terburu2 dengan mencari orang lain yg lebih menyanjungi dirinya berbanding anda!

Sering Berjauhan

Anda dan si dia sering berjauhan. Contohnya anda belajar di universiti dan dia bekerja di kampung halaman anda. Anda hanya pulang sekali sekala berjumpa dengannya ketika cuti semester. Mungkin juga anda atau si dia asyik kerja out-station , dihantar kursus etc sehingga berhari2, berminggu2 atau mungkin bertahun lamanya. Sudah pasti kesetiaan tercabar apabila sering berjauhan. Mungkin dia akan mencari pengganti yg dapat mengisi kekosongan di saat anda tiada. Niat dia mungkin sekadar suka2, tetapi akhirnya terjebak dengan cinta!

Ketidakpuasan dalam Kasih Sayang

Si dia mungkin merasakan anda tidak memberi perhatian dan kasih sayang yg secukupnya. Anda sibuk ke sana sini dan kerjaya anda membuat anda tidak ada cukup masa bersamanya. Akibatnya dia rasa kesunyian dan diabaikan. Oleh itu, dia tergamak mengkhianati cinta anda dengan keluar dengan orang lain yg lebih menghargainya dan sudi meluangkan lebih waktu dengannya.

Komunikasi Yang Hambar

Masalah komunikasi sering membuatkan percintaan menjadi hambar. Mungkin anda terlalu pendiam dan tak pandai berbicara. Hambatan komunikasi seperti perbezaan kematangan dan pengetahuan juga membuat komunikasi menjadi cacat. Selain itu, mungkin anda berdua kurang berkomunikasi seperti berlawak jenaka, bercerita masalah atau peristiwa dan mengucap kata-kata cinta. Bila bertemu, anda dan dia lebih banyak mendiamkan diri dan kematian idea untuk dibincang bersama. Oleh itu, si dia mungkin berlaku curang dengan seseorang yg dapat mengisi kekosongan ini dengan pandai berbicara, mengambil hati, berlawak dan berkongsi idea dan pendapat.

Kurangnya Nafkah Zahir & Batin

Ingin diingatkan kepada anda pilihlah suami/isteri dan dapat memenuhi tuntutan nafkah zahir dan batinmu. Jangan menyimpan ketidakpuasan hatimu, kelak menyumbang kepada kecurangan. Akibat rasa memberontak didalam hati, si dia mencari jalan untuk melupakan masalah yang tak terbendung di dalam hati nya.

Landasan Hubungan Yang Rapuh

Dulu dia bercinta dengan anda atas landasan yg tidak kukuh seperti dicabar teman2 atau dipaksa keluarga. Mungkin juga dia dulu beranggapan hendak main2 atau cuba2 saja dengan anda. Tak sangka pulak anda terus melekat! Mungkin juga kerana wajah anda yg cantik membuat dia rasa ingin bercinta dengan anda dahulu. Kemudian, pasti dia rasa tertekan bila jiwanya tidak betul2 cinta dengan anda, sebaliknya terpaksa berpura2. Oleh itu dia pasti berlaku curang apabila bertemu dengan seseorang yg benar2 membuat dia jatuh cinta!

Merasa Tidak Dihargai

Lelaki memiliki sifat ego. Mungkin anda sering menyakiti hatinya, membebel dan melemparkan kata2 yg tidak manis. Dia mungkin diam dan tidak membalas, tapi perasaanyaterhiris. Bila si dia rasa tidak dicintai dan dihargai, egonya terluka. Ego yang terluka mengakibatkan kesan yg buruk. Biasanya dia akan "membalas" dengan mengambil tindakan luar dugaan seperti berlaku curang di belakang anda! Dia berlaku demikian kerana ingin merasa diterima dan dicintai iatu perasaan yg tidak dapat dirasakan bila bersama anda.

Mahu Lebih Bahagia

Bila si dia merasa tidak bahagia bersama kita, boleh jadi dia akan mencari pengganti lain untuk mendapatkan kebahagiaan, yang definisinya kadang-kadang tidak jelas.

Hubungan Terlalu Rutin

Bila hubungan menjadi terlalu rutin sehingga si dia dapat menjangka apa yg akan terjadi seterusnya, pasti timbul kebosanan. Contohnya, malam minggu pasti anda akan mengajaknya menonton wayang. Tempat makan pun asyik2 restoran yg sama. Anda tidak pernah mengajaknya keluar dari aktiviti rutin seperti berkelah, melawat tempat menarik, dan sebagainya. Kadang-kadang aktiviti seperti melawat Zoo , Pameran dan Muzium juga dapat memecahkan kebosanan dalam perhubungan.

Sikap Playboy!

Jgn menyesal jika si dia meninggalkan anda kerana mungkin itu sebagai penyelamat bagi anda sebelum anda lebih menyesal di hari kemudian. Dia pantang bertemu perempuan cantik, Seksi, lebih bergaya dan lebih BERJAYA. Pasti dia akan berlaku curang kepada anda. Walaupun anda mempertahankan hubungan anda hingga berakhir dengan perkahwinan, namun anda pasti merasakan igauan sikap playboy si dia. Adakah si dia jujur selepas memilih untuk mengakhiri zaman bujangnya? Anda fikirkan kerana dia lah pilihan anda.

Ada Orang Tidak Puas Hati

Si Dia setia dengan anda dan anda juga begitu. Tapi tanpa sedar, ada pihak tertentu yg begitu cemburu atau tidak puas hati dengan perhubungan anda. Mereka akan membuat cerita, memfitnah dan melaga- lagakan anda. Si Dia mungkin terpengaruh dan akhirnya melepaskan geram dengan kecurangan!

Hi guy, just to share with all of my friend that this is my lovely husband. Please pray for my marriage happily ever after... I dont want to share him with any women anymore. He' mine and will always mine.

Doa Seorang Isteri

Ya Allah Ya Rahman Ya Rahim

Kau ampunilah dosa ku yg telah ku perbuat
Kau limpahkanlah aku dengan kesabaran yg tiada terbatas
Kau berikanlah aku kekuatan mental dan fizikal
Kau kurniakanlah aku dengan sifat keredhaan
Kau peliharalah lidahku dari kata-kata nista
Kau kuatkanlah semangatku menempuhi segala cabaranMu
Kau berikanlah aku sifat kasih sesama insan

Ya Allah
Sekiranya suami ku ini adalah pilihan Mu diArash
Berilah aku kekuatan dan keyakinan untuk terus bersamanya
Sekiranya suami ku ini adalah suami yg akan membimbing tanganku dititianMu
Kurniakanlah aku sifat kasih dan redha atas segala perbuatannya
Sekiranya suami ku ini adalah bidadara untuk ku di Jannah Mu
Limpahkanlah aku dengan sifat tunduk dan tawaduk akan segala perintahnya
Sekiranya suami ku ini adalah yang terbaik untukku di DuniaMu
Peliharalah tingkah laku serta kata-kataku dari menyakiti perasaannya
Sekiranya suami ku ini jodoh yang dirahmati olehMuBerilah aku kesabaran untuk menghadapi segala kerenah dan ragamnya

Tetapi Ya Allah
Sekiranya suami ku ini ditakdirkan bukan untuk diriku seorang
Kau tunjukkanlan aku jalan yg terbaik untuk aku harungi segala dugaanMu
Sekiranya suami ku tergoda dengan keindahan dunia Mu
Limpahkanlah aku kesabaran untuk terus membimbingnya
Sekiranya suami ku tunduk terhadap nafsu yang melalaikan
Kurniakanlah aku kekuatanMu untuk aku memperbetulkan keadaanya
Sekiranya suami ku menyintai kesesatan Kau pandulah aku untuk menarik dirinya keluar dari terus terlena

Ya Allah
Kau yang Maha Megetahui apa yang terbaik untukku
Kau juga yang Maha Mengampuni segala kesilapan dan ketelanjuranku
Sekiranya aku tersilap berbuat keputusan
Bimbinglah aku ke jalan yang Engkau redhai
Sekiranya aku lalai dalam tanggungjawabku sebagai isteri
Kau hukumlah aku didunia tetapi bukan diakhiratMu
Sekiranya aku engkar dan derhaka
Berikanlah aku petunjuk kearah rahmatMu

Ya Allah
sesungguhnyaAku lemah tanpa petunjukMu
Aku buta tanpa bimbinganMu
Aku cacat tanpa hidayahMu
Aku hina tanpa RahmatMu

Ya Allah
Kuatkan hati dan semangatku
Tabahkan aku menghadapi segala cubaanMu
Jadikanlah aku isteri yang disenangi suami
Bukakanlah hatiku untuk menghayati agamaMu
Bimbinglah aku menjadi isteri SolehaHanya padaMu Ya Allah ku pohon segala harapan
Kerana aku pasrah dengan dugaanMu
Kerana aku sedar hinanya aku
Kerana aku insan lemah yg kerap keliruKerana aku leka dengan keindahan duniamu
Kerana kurang kesabaran ku menghadapi cabaranMu
Kerana pendek akal ku mengharungi ujianMu

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku...
Aku hanya ingin menjadi isteri yang dirahmati
Isteri yang dikasihi
Isteri yang solehah
Isteri yang sentiasa dihati

Amin, amin Ya Rabbal Allamin..

I hate him but I love him SOOOOO much.

That is exactly what I am feeling right now.

Dammit. This feeling really sucks.

Frankly, I hate to blog about heart matters but sometimes I just feel like sharing it. I really hope that one day I would stumble into someone who is experiencing something that is exactly the same like mine.

But one problem is, this relationship of mine is hard to define and hard to be understood (am i talking shit here?). If you really read my blog, I think you can guess what is happening in my relationship with my fiancee. We will getting marriend in 1st November and 2nd November. It MUST happen. I'll pray for it.

One thing straight is that, me and my fiancee is totally different like other couples. He is not like any other 'gentleman' or good boyfriend. He is doing so many mistakes again and again. Sometimes I feel really disappointed with him. But this is call LOVE. I gave him everything, I gave him so much love, but it wasn't enough. And now I'm in pain, and it's so unfair because he was mean to me and he should be suffering. I feel I'll never be able to love again, or find someone suitable for me (I'm picky). He didn't show his true colors until a long time in the relationship, so when he just appeared in my life he was like an angel and he still is in my heart, despite all the pain he's made me go through, I forgive him. It happened so many time. I feel like my self esteem has always been low and now this is a huge blow. Despite not having the best self esteem, I know I don't deserve this, and I gave him everything I gave him so much love, so now all I can ask is "Why me?".... Why do I deserve this?.... Why do I have to suffer... and love him so much, and how can I get over this overwhelming pain?

The suck thing is that, though I have been together with him for so long, I just still could not escape from pissing him off. I had done it countless times. Sub-consciously, I just did despite knowing his attitude very well.

When he gets mad, its ugly. I mean, really UGLY. He doesn’t care of what others think. He doesn’t care of others feel with his word. And heck, now I am missing someone else; my ex-bf. This dilemma has been so long circulating in me. I can’t bring myself to break my current relationship off. I am still strong and patient to sustain in this relationship. But sometimes, I do wish my ex is my fiancee. Where my life could be as ordinary like other couples too. But something is always holding me back.

Dammit i dunno what is it! Is something wrong with me or am I just weird too??

So people out there, please help me if you are or had a similar situation like me. Make me smile by commenting.

They say, "IF you love someone, let them go. If they return, it was meant to be." Hmm, I guess only those who believes in faith and destiny would support this. Which, I am.(i think)

hAtE yOu BuT LoVe YoU...!!!

I hate the way you tell me you love me

When your with her

I hate when you tell me you miss me

I hate the way you make me think of you

I was getting over you

But you had to call

And tell me you still love me

I dont wanna wait

I dont wanna be played

I want to be over you

You give me more and more pain

I just wanna scream

I hate you for doing this to me

I hate how I still love you

I wish I would stop loving you

I am that kind of girl that loves you but hates you

My heart wants to hate you

Not Love you anymore

It hurts way to much

I wanna hate you..

But in the fact is I still love you not hate you...!!!

FORGIVE BUT NEVER FORGET!!!

I have problem of forgiving people but i NEVER forget…..if someone hurts me, that’s it.. I came across this article and thought u might enjoy reading it..

http://www.vitalaffirmations.com/forgiveness.htm

Forgiveness is such an important subject that I feel compelled to spend some time explaining its significance. When we hold something unforgiven inside, we are nurturing anger, hatred and resentment or maybe even guilt. These emotions lock us into the moment, continually reliving events, over time all this emotion can become suppressed into the subconscious, but they are still there, consuming our mental and life energy. Until we release ourselves from this cycle, it may prove impossible to move forward.

It really does not matter what the issue was, whether slight or life-shatteringly traumatic. If you want to move on you must let it go. To do this we must forgive. To forgive someone does not mean that that you condone their behaviour simply that you forgive them, and release them. By releasing and forgiving them, you release yourself. Some people hold onto their anger, refusing to forgive or let go. They will never move on until they do. In fact quite the reverse, by allowing such emotions to ferment inside, they grow and can become all consuming, their whole life becoming defined by whatever the event was. They are no longer in control of their life or living the life they want. They are living a life that is directed by their anger and hurt.

How our lives are, is often a reflection of our reactions to the ups and downs of life. If we choose to accept the good and release the bad, we are able to maintain control over our lives and keep our sense of direction. If however we focus on the bad things that have happened to us then these will simply grow, continually manifesting our own dark thoughts and divert us from seeking what we really want.

If you or your life is "stuck", then it is well worth looking back to see if there is anything unforgiven in your past. Remember to forgive everyone, especially yourself. So many people trudge through their lives burdened with guilt for this or that, forgive yourself and let it go.

Remember, life is in the now, the past is already finished and dead and cannot be changed. Nothing you can do now, can ever change the past, yet it is amazing how many people squander their emotional and life energy, consumed with anger or guilt about the past. In this moment now, you have your power, the power to make your choices, take your action, to make a difference. You have no power in the past and you have no assurance of power in the future.

If you want to feel free, released from the past then you must forgive. Forgive everyone, especially yourself. I know how difficult it is to overcome our natural and very human feelings of anger, guilt, resentment and fear. The basis of them can seem and may well be completely justified, you may be completely right to have these emotions and it is OK to experience them. However, these emotions damage your ability to move on, you must accept your emotions but then be prepared to let them go. To release yourself, you must forgive. Until you do you will remain the victim with your life locked into all those negative emotions.

Look around you, do you know anyone like that? Some tragedy or injustice has been suffered and now the entire life of that person is defined by their anger and resentment. Every positive thought, every inspired moment, all of life's little pleasures are subsumed with their overwhelming feelings of anger, resentment, even desire for revenge. No matter how justified their emotions are, what good is it doing them? The past can never be changed. Life is full of tragedy and joy, it is not the events of life so much as how we respond to them that defines how joyous and successful our lives are.

It is not the events of life

but how we respond to

them that defines the joy and

success of our lives.

HEALING FROM BROKEN HEART

Hello my friend, i have not write in my blog for a couple of days. I have been very busy with my work and also my preparation for wedding. Very stressful. So i cannot think anymore. i dont have any idea to write in my blog. Hoever, today i would like to talk about healing from broken heart.

It sounds trite, but there's always something you can learn from every experience. Often it's the seed of a current or past "failure" that fuels you to the very success that you've always dreamed of. Past relationships give you a clearer picture of what you want and what you don't want in a relationship if you take the time to examine them.

It's the power of contrast that living in an unfulfilling relationship may give you. When i was in my secondary school, i'm falling in love with one guy. Honestly, that is my first love. When i was with him, i really can feel how strong is love. At that time, we always thinking about our family, planning about knid, planning about career and many more. We share a lot of thing. However, after 4 years, after the break-up, I realized that this relationship had taught me and that it wasn't a "failure."

This relationship had helped me to define the type of partner i would really resonate with--someone who was on a similar spiritual path, and someone i could have a deep connection with.

My partner left me because of career. He left me in a third year of our relation. At that time, i was 16years old. He join Malaysia International Shipping Corporation(MISC) and need him to be one of crew in MISCs' ship for many month.

I learned to bless the relationship and let it go to make room for the type of partner I wanted to be with and let him to find a more appropriate mate.

I learned that my relationship wasn't a "failure" because of what it taught me about myself and his life- what i wanted and what i didn't want in a relationship.

People come and go in our lives. Some people are with us for a brief instant, for five days or for fifty or more years. The impact of these relationships on our lives can all be great.

Sometimes we don't understand why we are involved with someone in a particular relationship or why someone has such a hold on us. We don't understand why someone comes into our life for a brief time and then leaves. I really suffer when my fiancee cheating on me for many times until i cannot count. But now, i take it as my past experienced. I dont want to experience it anymore. What is happened is teach me to be more appreciate to myself.

What we've learned is that if a relationship isn't working out, it is not a bad thing or a failure that our society likes to label it. It just may be that you have learned what it is that you were supposed to learn by being in a relationship with that other person and it's time to move on to other "lessons."

We're not suggesting that you take your relationships lightly and throw them away at the first sign of conflict.What we are saying is that the purpose of all relationships is to help us to grow--personally and spiritually. Even the relationships that are the most troubling to us can be gifts in learning more about ourselves.

So instead of looking at a relationship that didn't work out the way you had hoped as a failure, I suggest you look at it as a growth experience and move forward consciously by learning from it.