JATUH BANGUN, HITAM PUTIH HIDUPKU..!!

Assalamualaikumwarahmatullahiwabarakatuh...

 

Salam Sejahtera dan Salam 1 Malaysia.

 

Tiba-tiba hati terpanggil untuk berblogging semula setelah lama meninggalkan dunia blog ni. Kerana terlalu byk kisah sedih hidupku didalamnya. Jatuh dan bangun hidupku tercatit didalam blog ini. Walaubagaimanapun, kisah perit hidup saya itu telah banyak mengajar saya erti kehidupan. Perasaan peritnya bila kita jatuh dan umpama berada disatu ruang paling dalam dan paling hitam. Saat diri hilang pedoman dan jauh dari cahaya keimanan. Namun saya bersyukur kerana tuhan tarik diri semula diri saya dr zaman kejatuhan itu. Tuhan berikan saya nyawa baru. Tuhan anugerahkan saya kebahagiaan yang telah hilang. DIA gantikan dengan yang lebih baik dr yang sebelumnya. Betul lah kata pepatah “PATAH TUMBUH HILANG BERGANTI”

 

 

Bila kita jatuh, tersungkur, tergolek, terlentang.. Jgn la lupa untuk bangkit.. Yakinlah bahawa itu adalah dugaan hidup yang tuhan berikan untuk mengajar kita erti kehidupan.

 

Bangkitlah untuk menjadi lebih kuat, gagah dan matang utk hari esok.

 

Bercakap lebih senang dari yang mengalami dan merasakan. Mungkin pada orang lain, perkara ini dianggap enteng. Namun bagi saya, tak mungkin saya lupakan saat kejatuhan itu. Kerna kejatuhan itulah yang telah merubah hidup saya. Hanya mereka yang pernah mengalami jer yg tahu mcm mana perasaan itu! It's not easy to forget someone - you may forget him..But you can learn from it. Everything in life is a lesson.. What you take from, what you learned is, what is important for. If something happen to your life, it’s happen for a reason... N always remember that u will forgive but YOU’LL NEVER FORGET... Saya akan ingat sampai mati pun akan nama dia yg pernah mensia-siakan hidup saya. Yang tak pernah hargai erti setiap pengorbanan saya pada dia. Dan sampai mati pun saya takkan maafkan dia dan tak akan sama sekali halalkan duit yg saya pernah habiskan buat dia.

Teringat saya pd lirik lagu ni..

 

At first I was afraid

I was petrified

I kept thinking

I could never live without you

By my side

But then I spent so many nights

Just thinking how you've done me wrong

I grew strong

I learned how to get along

Bermakna sangat lagu ni ? Apa yang telah terjadi adalah semangat untuk saya bangkit. Tak nak lagi lihat apa yang dia dahhh buat pada saya sbb itu akan melemahkan kita dan akan terus jatuh. Buat mereka yg mengalami pengalaman yg sama sepeti saya. Bangkit lah.... Dunia belum berakhir ! Kita kena bangkit n prove to everyone yang diri kita, semangat kita lebih kuat dr yang mereka sangkakan.

Now, i’m very proud of myself. Pesanan saya pada “dia”. Dulu awak halau saya macam kucing kurap tapi sekarang awak patut rasa malu pada diri awak sendiri. Saya ada career yg bagus. Saya ada suami yg menyayangi saya siang dan malam, saya ada anak yg comel, saya ada kereta sendiri dan saya mampu beli rumah sendiri hasil titik peluh saya tanpa mengharapkan harta mak bapak saya. If i compare myself dgn “dia”. Saya hanya bole tersenyum sinis... (hanya saya jer yg tahu mcm mana perasaan tu)...

Bukan niat saya nak bangga diri tapi mmg saya nak tunjukkan pada dia yg saya masih mampu hidup lepas dia buang saya ke lembah yg hina. Dulu, Kerana 1 salah saya, dia layan saya mcm anjing. Agaknya dia lupa dgn salah dia yg dia buat berulang-ulang kali pada saya. dia lupa mcm mana sakitnya saya bila disakiti berulang2 kali. Hati dan perasaan saya derita bila hidup dengan dia. Saya bersyukur sangat yg saya tak lagi bersama dengan dia. Hanya tuhan jer yg tahu...

So, to cut in short, learn to wake up when you fall. Life is too short to wasting your time by keep begging, keep calling, keep stalking, and keep waiting someone that never be yours.... and never know how to appreciate their wife.

Again...!!

 

Go on now, go walk out the door

Just turn around now

('cause) you're not welcome anymore

Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye

Do you think I'd crumble

Did you think I'd lay down and die?

Oh no, not I.

I will survive

I really love this song.

 

Credit to Gloria Gaynor... Muahhh...Muahhhhh....

Nasihat saya, bila kita jatuh dan hilang punca, balik la ke titik dimana kita bermula. Ingatlah bahawa Tuhan tidak akan menguji hambanya lebih dari apa yang dia mampu. Banyak2 lah berdoa dlm solatmu dan minta padanya agar dipermudahkan hidupmu. Dan mintalah petunjuk darinye untuk kembali.

 

Semoga pengalaman itu bakal mendewasakan kita. Yakinlah setiap yang terjadi pasti ada hikmahnya. Tuhan tak akan menguji kita lebih dari batas kemampuan kita.

 

Wallahualam.

 

Wassalam..

Tiada Lagi (Amy Search)

Sia-sia sudah
Kita jalin cinta
Bila hati selalu berbeda

Sampai kapan lagi
Aku harus menahan
Rasa kecewa di dalam dada

Seandainya kita masih bersatu
Tak mungkinkan menyatu
Walau masih ada sisa cinta
Biarkan saja berakhir sampai
Di sini

Tiada lagi yang ku harapkan
Tiada lagi yang ku impikan
Biar aku sendiri tanpa diri mu
Tiada lagi kata cintaku
Takkan lagi ku bersama mu
Biar ku simpan semua
Kenangan ku bersamamu

P/S: Buat Zin Azharee Hassan, kau harus tahu bahawa tiada lagi cinta di dalam di dalam hatiku. Kau telah menyemai perasaan benci itu dan kini perasaan itu sedang subur di dalam hatiku. Tidak akan ada lagi Zin AzhareeHassan dihatiku. Tidak sama sekali... Terima kasih kerana mengajarku erti sebuah pengorbanan. Kerna selepas ini, tidak akan ada lagi pengorbanan dariku buat sesiapa pun...

TALAK MELALUI PESANAN RINGKAS (SMS)

Dimana letaknya nilai seorang isteri? Adakah ianya sama nilainya dengan SMS yang hanya berharga 10 sen? Wahai lelaki...renungkan lah. Tuhan memberi kelebihan kepadamu untuk mentalakkan isteri.. Kelebihan itu bukan untuk kau gunakan sewenang-wenangnya.. Tuhan berikan akal untuk berfikir secara waras. Jadi, jangan la meletakkan dirimu sama taraf seperti haiwan yang tidak berakal...!!!

Tiada apa lagi yang tinggal untukmu.. Seluruh jiwa ragaku telah mati..

Perceraian perlu dilakukan dengan ma’ruf. Perceraian tidak sepatutnya digunakan untuk menjatuhkan martabat isteri. Tapi kau, suami yang telah kunikahi dengan kerelaaku, begitu menggunakan kuasa talak dengan sewenang wenang.

Islam menetapkan peraturan perceraian dengan begitu halus dan teliti agar tidak ada mana-mana pihak yang teraniaya. Tapi aku...? Fikirlah...

Sekiranya perkahwinan boleh disambut dengan cara baik, dengan cara terhormat, dengan cara terpuji, kenduri dibuat, sekampung dipanggil. Tapi, kenapa perpisahan ini tak boleh dibuat begitu?

Tuhan ini maha adil...hari ini kau buat aku, esok kau juga akan merasai yang sama...

Aku pohon pada tuhan, agar aku diampuni.. Aku pohon pada tuhan agar aku diberi kesabaran yang tertinggi. Aku pohon pada tuhan agar aku tabah menghadapi semua ini. Hanya pada tuhan... Hanya padamu Ya Rabbi..!!

KETIKA FIKIRANKU MELAWAN HATIKU

Kadang dalam hidup ini, kita harus menjalani sesuatu yang semuanya di luar perkiraan, kemahuan, keinginan dan kehendak kita. Disaat fikiranku melawan hatiku, terlalu sukar untuk ku menentukan pilihan dalam hidup ini.... Aku hanya ingin bahagia...namun hatiku terluka...Aku ingin tertawa namun hatiku menangis. Otakku yang selalu berfikir secara rasional mampu memahami, mampu menerima hakikat kenyataan dan alasan kenapa aku kecewa...kenapa dia yang setelah skian lama yang telah bertahun-tahun menjadi pendampingku dalam suka duka hidupku... kini.... harus pergi tanpa bekas dengan alasan yang tak mampu diterima oleh akal sihatku.

Namun yang tak mampu aku mengerti.... HATIKU TAK PERNAH RELA KEHILANGAN DIA.... Hatiku selalu mengharap semua ini mimpi.... Hatiku tak pernah menerimanya dengan redha. Hatiku tidak pernah mahu menerima bila pengorbananku dipersoalkan. Kesucian cintaku diperlekehkan. HATIKU TERLALU INGIN DAN SANGAT MEMERLUKAN DIA... Aku rapuh aku lemah. Tiada lagi ghairah hidupku. Apa pun yang aku lakukan seolah tiada ertinya lagi. HATIKU MENANGIS..... Terlalu sedih, terlalu terluka. Air mataku dah tiada ertinya. Hidupku dah tiada serinya... Sedangkan dia? Bahagia di atas penderitaanku. Sedarkah kau sayang... yang kebahagiaanmu perluku bayar dengan titik-titik air mataku...

Pertempuran antara hati dan fikiranku membuat jiwa ragaku lemah.. BETAPA TIDAK ADILNYA DIRIMU MENGHAKIMIKU.... KEMANA PERGINYA UNGKAPAN SAYANG DAN CINTA YANG KAU AGUNG2KAN? KEMANA PERGINYA PERASAAN KASIHMU ITU...DIMANA BISIKAN HATI YANG INDAH ITU... KENAPA HARUS DI BUANG DEMI SEJENGKAL PERKIRAAN TENTANG KEHIDUPAN YANG PANJANG....BEGITU TIDAK BERHARGAKAH PERASAAN ITU????

KEPEDIHAN YANG BELUM BERLALU

:: kesedihan yg berterusan ::

Rasanya dah lama aku tak meluahkan apa yang sebenarnya terpendam dalam hati aku. Disaat ini aku kembali sendiri. Kebahagiaan rumahtangga yang kuimpikan akhirnya berakhir jua. ketakutan yang ku elakkan akhirnya merempuhku jua. aku pasrah.aku redha dgn ketentuan ini.bukannya sekali dua pernah terjadi..berkali2 aku disakiti, xterhingga dan perasaan aku ini umpama sudah lali kerana dipermainkan. Ahh..mungkin ada hikmahnya.

Tapi, walau apa pun aku tetap mnyalahkan diri aku atas sgala perpisahan yg terjadi.Mmg aku akui aku xckup bgus utk dia.aku punya byk kekurangan. tapi percayalah aku sntiasa cuba utk mnjadi yg terbaik utknya. cuma kesakitan, penderitaan, limit kesabaran yang kutanggung selama ini terluah dengan perbuatan, tidak dengan perkataan. Kepada dia "adakah awak faham penderitaan saya?adakah awak faham perasaan saya? adakah awak faham erti kesabaran yang saya korbankan untuk awak?". aku cuba dan cuba bertahan namun aku tewas. aku tak terdaya lagi untuk menanggungnya sndri, mngorbankan perasaanku sndiri demi dia. Kawan2, keluarga, jiran2 dan orang sekeliling hanya nmpk keburukan aku lantas mngenepikan kebaikan aku. tahukah mereka tentang penderitaan yang aku alami? Faham kah mereka tentang kesakitan yang aku alami? Membantukah mereka bila tubuh badanku disakiti? Tiada siape pun yg tahu diri aku yg sebenar.. Jadi, jangan la menghukumku selagi kamu semua tak tahu apa yg berlaku. Tiada siapa yang layak untuk menghakimiku didunia ini.

Aku percaya pd kebaikn, pada cinta, malah aku sntisa percaya pd erti kasih sayang, pada pengorbanan hingga pengorbanan itu sendiri terkorban...tp ape yg aku dpt..hanyala kebencian dan perpisahan.

Namun jauh disudut hatiku, aku percaya. pasti ada kebahagiaan ku yang menanti dihujung sana. Aku berdoa kepada tuhan agar dikurangkan kesakitan ini. ditambahkan kesabaran aku. digantikan yang telah hilang. ditunjukkan jalan yang benar. dan dikurniakan keampunan. Mudahan aku dpt melupakan sgla kepedihan yg dia berikn ini..aminn ya rabbal alamin..

HATI YANG KAU SAKITI - ROSSA

jangan pernah katakan bahwa
cintamu hanyalah untukku
karna kini kau telah membaginya

* maafkan jika memang kini
harus kutinggalkan dirimu
karna hatiku selalu kau lukai

** tak ada lagi yang bisa ku lakukan tanpamu
ku hanya bisa mengatakan apa yang ku rasa

reff: ku menangis membayangkan
betapa kejamnya dirimu atas diriku
kau duakan cinta ini
kau pergi bersamanya

ku menangis melepaskan
kepergian dirimu dari sisi hidupku
harus slalu kau tahu
aku lah hati yang telah kau sakiti

repeat *, ** repeat reff
ku menangis
harus slalu kau tahu
aku lah hati yang telah kau sakiti

KETIKA ALLAH MEMILIHMU UNTUKKU

Padamu yang Allah pilihkan dalam hidupku..
Ingin ku beri tahu padamu..
Aku hidup dan besar dari keluarga bahagia..
Orang tua yg begitu sempurna..
Dengan cinta dan kasih sayang yg begitu melimpah ruah..
Aku dibesarkan dgn limpahan kasih yang tak terhingga..
Maka, padamu ku katakan..
Saat Allah memilihmu dalam hidupku,
Maka saat itu Dia berharap, kau pun sanggup melimpahkan cintamu padaku..
Memperlakukanku dgn kasih sayang yang begitu indah..

Padamu yang Allah pilihkan untukku..
Ketahuilah, aku hanya wanita biasa dengan begitu banyak kekurangan dalam diriku,
Aku bukanlah wanita sempurna, seperti yang mungkin kau harapkan..
Maka, ketika Dia memilihmu untukku,
Maka saat itu, Dia ingin menyempurnakan kekuranganku dgn keberadaanmu.
Dan aku tahu, Kaupun bukanlah laki-laki yang sempurna..
Dan ku berharap ketidaksempurnaanku mampu menyempurnakan dirimu..
Karena kelak kita akan satu..
Aibmu adalah aibku, dan indahmu adalah indahku,
Kau dan aku akan menjadi 'kita'..
Padamu yg Allah pilihkan untukku..
Ketahuilah, sejak kecil Allah telah menempa diriku dgn ilmu dan tarbiyah,
Membentukku menjadi wanita yg mencintai Rabbnya..
Maka ketika Dia memilihmu untukku,
Maka saat itu, Allah mengetahui bahwa kaupun telah menempa dirimu dgn ilmuNya..
Maka gandeng tanganku dalam mengibarkan panji-panji dakwah dalam hidup kita..
Itulah visi pernikahan kita..
Ibadah pada-Nya ta'ala..

Padamu yg Allah tetapkan sebagai nahkodaku..
Ingatlah.. Aku adalah mahlukNya dari tulang rusuk yang paling bengkok..
Ada kalanya aku akan begitu membuatmu marah..
Maka, ketahuilah.. Saat itu Dia menghendaki kau menasihatiku dengan hikmah,
Sungguh hatiku tetaplah wanita yg lemah pada kelembutan..
Namun jangan kau cuba meluruskanku, karena aku akan patah..
Tapi jangan pula membiarkanku begitu saja, karena akan selamanya aku salah..
Namun tatap mataku, tersenyumlah..
Tenangkan aku dgn genggaman tanganmu..
Dan nasihati aku dgn bijak dan hikmah..
Niscaya, kau akan menemukanku tersungkur menangis di pangkuanmu..
Maka ketika itu, kau kembali memiliki hatiku..
Padamu yang Allah tetapkan sebagai atap tempat berteduhku..
Ketahuilah, ketika ijab atas namaku telah kau lontarkan..
Maka dimataku kau adalah yang terindah,
Kata2mu adalah titah untukku,
Selama tak bermaksiat pada Allah, akan ku penuhi semua perintahmu..
Maka kalau kau berkenan ku meminta..
Jadilah rumah yg indah untukku, yang kukuh dan penuh kasih sayang…
Yang mampu membuatku dan anak-anak kita nyaman dan aman di dalamnya..

Padamu yang Allah pilih menjadi tongkat hidupku…
Dalam istana kecil kita akan hadir buah hati-buah hati kita..
Maka didiklah mereka menjadi generasi yg dirindukan syurga..
Yang di pundaknya akan diisi dgn amanah-amanah dakwah,
Yang ruh dan jiwanya selalu merindukan jihad..
Yang darahnya mengalir darah syuhada..
Dan ku yakin dari tanganmu yg penuh berkah, kau mampu membentuk mereka..
Dengan hatimu yg penuh cinta, kau mampu merengkuh hati mereka..
Dan aku akan selalu jatuh cinta padamu..
Padamu yang Allah pilih sebagai imamku…
Ku memohon padamu.. Redhalah padaku,
Sungguh Redhamu adalah Redha Ilahi Rabbi..
Mudahkanlah jalanku ke Surga-Nya..
Karena bagiku kau adalah kunci Surgaku.


Dari Ummu Salamah, ia berkata, "Rasulullah S.A.W bersabda : "Seorang perempuan jika meninggal dan suaminya meridhoinya, maka ia akan masuk syurga." (HR. Ahmad dan Thabrani)

MUHASABAH DIRI AKAN KEKURANGANMU DAN KEKURANGANKU

Kenapa Dia Curang???

Sakitnya hati!

Orang yg kita cintai telah berlaku curang dalam diam. Paling teruk, ada yg melakukannya terang-terangan di depan mata! Sebenarnya, sebelum kita saling tuduh-menuduh pasangan lebih baik kita memahami sebab-sebab kecurangan pasangan. Kemudian selidik samada faktor tersebut yg telah membuat si dia menjauhkan diri dari anda!

Hidup Terkongkong

Siapa yang suka jika hidupnya diatur pasangan atau dikawal ketat kebebasannya? Ruang kebebasan yg diingini dihimpit ketika berpasangan dengan anda. Sikit2 anda menelefonnya seolah2 tidak percaya kejujurannya. Akibatnya dia berlaku curang untuk membuktikan kepada anda bahawa dia masih berharga di mata orang lain dan memberi pelajaran berguna kepada anda! Dia memulainya dengan rajin berbohong.

Rasa Marah

Percaya atau tidak, rasa marah dapat mengundang kecurangan. Anda mungkin tidak sedar, rasa marah sering terpendam dalam diri pasangan. Dia mungkin tidak meluahkan kerana tidak mahu sengketa atau ketika itu tidak mahu melukakan hati anda. Anda juga sering abaikan perasaannya dengan mengambil mudah dgn tidak mahu meminta maaf. Mungkin anda juga sering menimbulkan kemarahannya dgn melakukan perkara2 yg tidak disukainya seperti mencabar keegoaannya. Oleh itu, cara membebaskan diri yang dianggap paling menyenangkan ialah dengan melakukan kecurangan. Iyalah, marah buat jiwa tertekan dan fikiran tidak lagi berfikir secara rasional.

Rasa Rendah Diri

Dia sayangkan anda tetapi jauh di sudut hatinya berasa rendah diri pada diri sendiri. Anda mungkin terlalu cantik, lebih pandai, lebih kaya dan berharta, lebih tinggi taraf pendidikan dan lebih berjaya dalam karier berbanding dirinya. Dia berasa tersisih apabila anda membawanya di majlis2 sosial yg dilingkungi kawan2 yg berjaya dan lebih berpengaruh. Dia malu utk memberi pendapat kerana berasakan anda lebih pandai dan anda lebih memerlukan nasihat dari kawan yang berlainan jantina. Dia cintakan anda tapi pada waktu yg sama tidak percayakan anda. Dia mungkin beranggapan anda hanya ingin mempermain-mainkannya dan akan meninggalkannya di waktu anda berjumpa dengan org yg setaraf dengan anda. Oleh itu, dia mengambil langkah terburu2 dengan mencari orang lain yg lebih menyanjungi dirinya berbanding anda!

Sering Berjauhan

Anda dan si dia sering berjauhan. Contohnya anda belajar di universiti dan dia bekerja di kampung halaman anda. Anda hanya pulang sekali sekala berjumpa dengannya ketika cuti semester. Mungkin juga anda atau si dia asyik kerja out-station , dihantar kursus etc sehingga berhari2, berminggu2 atau mungkin bertahun lamanya. Sudah pasti kesetiaan tercabar apabila sering berjauhan. Mungkin dia akan mencari pengganti yg dapat mengisi kekosongan di saat anda tiada. Niat dia mungkin sekadar suka2, tetapi akhirnya terjebak dengan cinta!

Ketidakpuasan dalam Kasih Sayang

Si dia mungkin merasakan anda tidak memberi perhatian dan kasih sayang yg secukupnya. Anda sibuk ke sana sini dan kerjaya anda membuat anda tidak ada cukup masa bersamanya. Akibatnya dia rasa kesunyian dan diabaikan. Oleh itu, dia tergamak mengkhianati cinta anda dengan keluar dengan orang lain yg lebih menghargainya dan sudi meluangkan lebih waktu dengannya.

Komunikasi Yang Hambar

Masalah komunikasi sering membuatkan percintaan menjadi hambar. Mungkin anda terlalu pendiam dan tak pandai berbicara. Hambatan komunikasi seperti perbezaan kematangan dan pengetahuan juga membuat komunikasi menjadi cacat. Selain itu, mungkin anda berdua kurang berkomunikasi seperti berlawak jenaka, bercerita masalah atau peristiwa dan mengucap kata-kata cinta. Bila bertemu, anda dan dia lebih banyak mendiamkan diri dan kematian idea untuk dibincang bersama. Oleh itu, si dia mungkin berlaku curang dengan seseorang yg dapat mengisi kekosongan ini dengan pandai berbicara, mengambil hati, berlawak dan berkongsi idea dan pendapat.

Kurangnya Nafkah Zahir & Batin

Ingin diingatkan kepada anda pilihlah suami/isteri dan dapat memenuhi tuntutan nafkah zahir dan batinmu. Jangan menyimpan ketidakpuasan hatimu, kelak menyumbang kepada kecurangan. Akibat rasa memberontak didalam hati, si dia mencari jalan untuk melupakan masalah yang tak terbendung di dalam hati nya.

Landasan Hubungan Yang Rapuh

Dulu dia bercinta dengan anda atas landasan yg tidak kukuh seperti dicabar teman2 atau dipaksa keluarga. Mungkin juga dia dulu beranggapan hendak main2 atau cuba2 saja dengan anda. Tak sangka pulak anda terus melekat! Mungkin juga kerana wajah anda yg cantik membuat dia rasa ingin bercinta dengan anda dahulu. Kemudian, pasti dia rasa tertekan bila jiwanya tidak betul2 cinta dengan anda, sebaliknya terpaksa berpura2. Oleh itu dia pasti berlaku curang apabila bertemu dengan seseorang yg benar2 membuat dia jatuh cinta!

Merasa Tidak Dihargai

Lelaki memiliki sifat ego. Mungkin anda sering menyakiti hatinya, membebel dan melemparkan kata2 yg tidak manis. Dia mungkin diam dan tidak membalas, tapi perasaanyaterhiris. Bila si dia rasa tidak dicintai dan dihargai, egonya terluka. Ego yang terluka mengakibatkan kesan yg buruk. Biasanya dia akan "membalas" dengan mengambil tindakan luar dugaan seperti berlaku curang di belakang anda! Dia berlaku demikian kerana ingin merasa diterima dan dicintai iatu perasaan yg tidak dapat dirasakan bila bersama anda.

Mahu Lebih Bahagia

Bila si dia merasa tidak bahagia bersama kita, boleh jadi dia akan mencari pengganti lain untuk mendapatkan kebahagiaan, yang definisinya kadang-kadang tidak jelas.

Hubungan Terlalu Rutin

Bila hubungan menjadi terlalu rutin sehingga si dia dapat menjangka apa yg akan terjadi seterusnya, pasti timbul kebosanan. Contohnya, malam minggu pasti anda akan mengajaknya menonton wayang. Tempat makan pun asyik2 restoran yg sama. Anda tidak pernah mengajaknya keluar dari aktiviti rutin seperti berkelah, melawat tempat menarik, dan sebagainya. Kadang-kadang aktiviti seperti melawat Zoo , Pameran dan Muzium juga dapat memecahkan kebosanan dalam perhubungan.

Sikap Playboy!

Jgn menyesal jika si dia meninggalkan anda kerana mungkin itu sebagai penyelamat bagi anda sebelum anda lebih menyesal di hari kemudian. Dia pantang bertemu perempuan cantik, Seksi, lebih bergaya dan lebih BERJAYA. Pasti dia akan berlaku curang kepada anda. Walaupun anda mempertahankan hubungan anda hingga berakhir dengan perkahwinan, namun anda pasti merasakan igauan sikap playboy si dia. Adakah si dia jujur selepas memilih untuk mengakhiri zaman bujangnya? Anda fikirkan kerana dia lah pilihan anda.

Ada Orang Tidak Puas Hati

Si Dia setia dengan anda dan anda juga begitu. Tapi tanpa sedar, ada pihak tertentu yg begitu cemburu atau tidak puas hati dengan perhubungan anda. Mereka akan membuat cerita, memfitnah dan melaga- lagakan anda. Si Dia mungkin terpengaruh dan akhirnya melepaskan geram dengan kecurangan!

Hi guy, just to share with all of my friend that this is my lovely husband. Please pray for my marriage happily ever after... I dont want to share him with any women anymore. He' mine and will always mine.

Doa Seorang Isteri

Ya Allah Ya Rahman Ya Rahim

Kau ampunilah dosa ku yg telah ku perbuat
Kau limpahkanlah aku dengan kesabaran yg tiada terbatas
Kau berikanlah aku kekuatan mental dan fizikal
Kau kurniakanlah aku dengan sifat keredhaan
Kau peliharalah lidahku dari kata-kata nista
Kau kuatkanlah semangatku menempuhi segala cabaranMu
Kau berikanlah aku sifat kasih sesama insan

Ya Allah
Sekiranya suami ku ini adalah pilihan Mu diArash
Berilah aku kekuatan dan keyakinan untuk terus bersamanya
Sekiranya suami ku ini adalah suami yg akan membimbing tanganku dititianMu
Kurniakanlah aku sifat kasih dan redha atas segala perbuatannya
Sekiranya suami ku ini adalah bidadara untuk ku di Jannah Mu
Limpahkanlah aku dengan sifat tunduk dan tawaduk akan segala perintahnya
Sekiranya suami ku ini adalah yang terbaik untukku di DuniaMu
Peliharalah tingkah laku serta kata-kataku dari menyakiti perasaannya
Sekiranya suami ku ini jodoh yang dirahmati olehMuBerilah aku kesabaran untuk menghadapi segala kerenah dan ragamnya

Tetapi Ya Allah
Sekiranya suami ku ini ditakdirkan bukan untuk diriku seorang
Kau tunjukkanlan aku jalan yg terbaik untuk aku harungi segala dugaanMu
Sekiranya suami ku tergoda dengan keindahan dunia Mu
Limpahkanlah aku kesabaran untuk terus membimbingnya
Sekiranya suami ku tunduk terhadap nafsu yang melalaikan
Kurniakanlah aku kekuatanMu untuk aku memperbetulkan keadaanya
Sekiranya suami ku menyintai kesesatan Kau pandulah aku untuk menarik dirinya keluar dari terus terlena

Ya Allah
Kau yang Maha Megetahui apa yang terbaik untukku
Kau juga yang Maha Mengampuni segala kesilapan dan ketelanjuranku
Sekiranya aku tersilap berbuat keputusan
Bimbinglah aku ke jalan yang Engkau redhai
Sekiranya aku lalai dalam tanggungjawabku sebagai isteri
Kau hukumlah aku didunia tetapi bukan diakhiratMu
Sekiranya aku engkar dan derhaka
Berikanlah aku petunjuk kearah rahmatMu

Ya Allah
sesungguhnyaAku lemah tanpa petunjukMu
Aku buta tanpa bimbinganMu
Aku cacat tanpa hidayahMu
Aku hina tanpa RahmatMu

Ya Allah
Kuatkan hati dan semangatku
Tabahkan aku menghadapi segala cubaanMu
Jadikanlah aku isteri yang disenangi suami
Bukakanlah hatiku untuk menghayati agamaMu
Bimbinglah aku menjadi isteri SolehaHanya padaMu Ya Allah ku pohon segala harapan
Kerana aku pasrah dengan dugaanMu
Kerana aku sedar hinanya aku
Kerana aku insan lemah yg kerap keliruKerana aku leka dengan keindahan duniamu
Kerana kurang kesabaran ku menghadapi cabaranMu
Kerana pendek akal ku mengharungi ujianMu

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku...
Aku hanya ingin menjadi isteri yang dirahmati
Isteri yang dikasihi
Isteri yang solehah
Isteri yang sentiasa dihati

Amin, amin Ya Rabbal Allamin..

I hate him but I love him SOOOOO much.

That is exactly what I am feeling right now.

Dammit. This feeling really sucks.

Frankly, I hate to blog about heart matters but sometimes I just feel like sharing it. I really hope that one day I would stumble into someone who is experiencing something that is exactly the same like mine.

But one problem is, this relationship of mine is hard to define and hard to be understood (am i talking shit here?). If you really read my blog, I think you can guess what is happening in my relationship with my fiancee. We will getting marriend in 1st November and 2nd November. It MUST happen. I'll pray for it.

One thing straight is that, me and my fiancee is totally different like other couples. He is not like any other 'gentleman' or good boyfriend. He is doing so many mistakes again and again. Sometimes I feel really disappointed with him. But this is call LOVE. I gave him everything, I gave him so much love, but it wasn't enough. And now I'm in pain, and it's so unfair because he was mean to me and he should be suffering. I feel I'll never be able to love again, or find someone suitable for me (I'm picky). He didn't show his true colors until a long time in the relationship, so when he just appeared in my life he was like an angel and he still is in my heart, despite all the pain he's made me go through, I forgive him. It happened so many time. I feel like my self esteem has always been low and now this is a huge blow. Despite not having the best self esteem, I know I don't deserve this, and I gave him everything I gave him so much love, so now all I can ask is "Why me?".... Why do I deserve this?.... Why do I have to suffer... and love him so much, and how can I get over this overwhelming pain?

The suck thing is that, though I have been together with him for so long, I just still could not escape from pissing him off. I had done it countless times. Sub-consciously, I just did despite knowing his attitude very well.

When he gets mad, its ugly. I mean, really UGLY. He doesn’t care of what others think. He doesn’t care of others feel with his word. And heck, now I am missing someone else; my ex-bf. This dilemma has been so long circulating in me. I can’t bring myself to break my current relationship off. I am still strong and patient to sustain in this relationship. But sometimes, I do wish my ex is my fiancee. Where my life could be as ordinary like other couples too. But something is always holding me back.

Dammit i dunno what is it! Is something wrong with me or am I just weird too??

So people out there, please help me if you are or had a similar situation like me. Make me smile by commenting.

They say, "IF you love someone, let them go. If they return, it was meant to be." Hmm, I guess only those who believes in faith and destiny would support this. Which, I am.(i think)

hAtE yOu BuT LoVe YoU...!!!

I hate the way you tell me you love me

When your with her

I hate when you tell me you miss me

I hate the way you make me think of you

I was getting over you

But you had to call

And tell me you still love me

I dont wanna wait

I dont wanna be played

I want to be over you

You give me more and more pain

I just wanna scream

I hate you for doing this to me

I hate how I still love you

I wish I would stop loving you

I am that kind of girl that loves you but hates you

My heart wants to hate you

Not Love you anymore

It hurts way to much

I wanna hate you..

But in the fact is I still love you not hate you...!!!

FORGIVE BUT NEVER FORGET!!!

I have problem of forgiving people but i NEVER forget…..if someone hurts me, that’s it.. I came across this article and thought u might enjoy reading it..

http://www.vitalaffirmations.com/forgiveness.htm

Forgiveness is such an important subject that I feel compelled to spend some time explaining its significance. When we hold something unforgiven inside, we are nurturing anger, hatred and resentment or maybe even guilt. These emotions lock us into the moment, continually reliving events, over time all this emotion can become suppressed into the subconscious, but they are still there, consuming our mental and life energy. Until we release ourselves from this cycle, it may prove impossible to move forward.

It really does not matter what the issue was, whether slight or life-shatteringly traumatic. If you want to move on you must let it go. To do this we must forgive. To forgive someone does not mean that that you condone their behaviour simply that you forgive them, and release them. By releasing and forgiving them, you release yourself. Some people hold onto their anger, refusing to forgive or let go. They will never move on until they do. In fact quite the reverse, by allowing such emotions to ferment inside, they grow and can become all consuming, their whole life becoming defined by whatever the event was. They are no longer in control of their life or living the life they want. They are living a life that is directed by their anger and hurt.

How our lives are, is often a reflection of our reactions to the ups and downs of life. If we choose to accept the good and release the bad, we are able to maintain control over our lives and keep our sense of direction. If however we focus on the bad things that have happened to us then these will simply grow, continually manifesting our own dark thoughts and divert us from seeking what we really want.

If you or your life is "stuck", then it is well worth looking back to see if there is anything unforgiven in your past. Remember to forgive everyone, especially yourself. So many people trudge through their lives burdened with guilt for this or that, forgive yourself and let it go.

Remember, life is in the now, the past is already finished and dead and cannot be changed. Nothing you can do now, can ever change the past, yet it is amazing how many people squander their emotional and life energy, consumed with anger or guilt about the past. In this moment now, you have your power, the power to make your choices, take your action, to make a difference. You have no power in the past and you have no assurance of power in the future.

If you want to feel free, released from the past then you must forgive. Forgive everyone, especially yourself. I know how difficult it is to overcome our natural and very human feelings of anger, guilt, resentment and fear. The basis of them can seem and may well be completely justified, you may be completely right to have these emotions and it is OK to experience them. However, these emotions damage your ability to move on, you must accept your emotions but then be prepared to let them go. To release yourself, you must forgive. Until you do you will remain the victim with your life locked into all those negative emotions.

Look around you, do you know anyone like that? Some tragedy or injustice has been suffered and now the entire life of that person is defined by their anger and resentment. Every positive thought, every inspired moment, all of life's little pleasures are subsumed with their overwhelming feelings of anger, resentment, even desire for revenge. No matter how justified their emotions are, what good is it doing them? The past can never be changed. Life is full of tragedy and joy, it is not the events of life so much as how we respond to them that defines how joyous and successful our lives are.

It is not the events of life

but how we respond to

them that defines the joy and

success of our lives.

HEALING FROM BROKEN HEART

Hello my friend, i have not write in my blog for a couple of days. I have been very busy with my work and also my preparation for wedding. Very stressful. So i cannot think anymore. i dont have any idea to write in my blog. Hoever, today i would like to talk about healing from broken heart.

It sounds trite, but there's always something you can learn from every experience. Often it's the seed of a current or past "failure" that fuels you to the very success that you've always dreamed of. Past relationships give you a clearer picture of what you want and what you don't want in a relationship if you take the time to examine them.

It's the power of contrast that living in an unfulfilling relationship may give you. When i was in my secondary school, i'm falling in love with one guy. Honestly, that is my first love. When i was with him, i really can feel how strong is love. At that time, we always thinking about our family, planning about knid, planning about career and many more. We share a lot of thing. However, after 4 years, after the break-up, I realized that this relationship had taught me and that it wasn't a "failure."

This relationship had helped me to define the type of partner i would really resonate with--someone who was on a similar spiritual path, and someone i could have a deep connection with.

My partner left me because of career. He left me in a third year of our relation. At that time, i was 16years old. He join Malaysia International Shipping Corporation(MISC) and need him to be one of crew in MISCs' ship for many month.

I learned to bless the relationship and let it go to make room for the type of partner I wanted to be with and let him to find a more appropriate mate.

I learned that my relationship wasn't a "failure" because of what it taught me about myself and his life- what i wanted and what i didn't want in a relationship.

People come and go in our lives. Some people are with us for a brief instant, for five days or for fifty or more years. The impact of these relationships on our lives can all be great.

Sometimes we don't understand why we are involved with someone in a particular relationship or why someone has such a hold on us. We don't understand why someone comes into our life for a brief time and then leaves. I really suffer when my fiancee cheating on me for many times until i cannot count. But now, i take it as my past experienced. I dont want to experience it anymore. What is happened is teach me to be more appreciate to myself.

What we've learned is that if a relationship isn't working out, it is not a bad thing or a failure that our society likes to label it. It just may be that you have learned what it is that you were supposed to learn by being in a relationship with that other person and it's time to move on to other "lessons."

We're not suggesting that you take your relationships lightly and throw them away at the first sign of conflict.What we are saying is that the purpose of all relationships is to help us to grow--personally and spiritually. Even the relationships that are the most troubling to us can be gifts in learning more about ourselves.

So instead of looking at a relationship that didn't work out the way you had hoped as a failure, I suggest you look at it as a growth experience and move forward consciously by learning from it.

LOSING TO WIN

Win back a lost love can be difficult if both have broken up on a bad note or if there had been more negatives during the time of the breakup. You even gone insane trying to find out whether he still have relationship with other girls. Sometimes I have been through drunk dialing him like ten to twenty times a day.

Before trying to win back a lost love, one thing important is that people around can always help. Your family, shared friends all can help in bringing the both of you back together. I have seen couples come back within not months because of help from close friends that were encouraging and helped push both sides together. I would like to thank to my friend, SHA. She help me and my fiancee to be together.

You have to calm down yourself and find out all the real reasons why both of you left the relationship. Was it because of the negatives in the relationship? What positives were there in the relationship? Did both of you like the same things? Like movies, going out together and enjoy scenery or a particular activity that both of you enjoy? Don't underestimate shared beliefs between the both of you, like beliefs about religion and about family. All these can help put light on what is truly positive about the relationship and help you to win back a lost love.

For the date that you want to bring your lost love out, do something very simple and short so that both of you do not concentrate on any of the negatives. Put your best foot forward during the short date.

I have also found out that on how to win back a lost love, it was not hate that I was fighting with, but indifference. Slowly, as time passed, I found that my partner slowly care about me or I simply i get my love's life slowly. This is good for me on how to win back a lost love. Many seemingly impossible couples and teens could reunite together happily even near divorce and solve relationship breakups. So, you have to help yourself and trying to make it again as a new life. Just left every bad things behind you.

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

JEALOUSY

Everybody knows the feeling of being jealous. We envy somebody's career, wealth, good relationship, and generally speaking better life style. There is also the same feeling when we are in love. It is called jealousy. The jealousy can ruin a good relationship even though it is said jealousy is a sign of love.

Jealousy brings into a relationship unwanted pressure, disturbs the people we are jealous of, and most of all disturbs ourselves. That is what I feel. I do not believe in his love and stability. I would like to have my partner only for myself as I feel I am only with him and only for him. I am afraid of any rivals.

Different look of my partner, mysterious smile, strange phone conversation, these all make I’m feel insecure. And then the problem begins. I start to follow him, ' listen to his phone conversations, or even I start opening his mail. And I was sooooo shock when I saw half-naked picture send by one girl name SITI ALORA. If you want to see her picture, you just type Siti Loramanja in google and you can see in the 1st page Siti Lora on Netlog. Then u will see her profile. That is the girls who send half-naked picture to my fiancee.

I start asking a lot of questions about time he did not spend with me. When he comes late I think only about his unfaithfulness. I start waiting in front of his house when I feel something is not right. Normally at nigh laaaa because when I call his hand phone, it always not active and sometimes he does not pick up my phone call. A long those times, he always gives me thousand million of excuse. Sometimes it’s sound very stupid.

This way I not only terrorize my partner but myself as well. Jealousy is like an illness but can it be cured? I have to fight over this feeling. If I start doing it is a first step to get rid of jealousy.

I’ll try to find a few tips how to cope with my own jealousy. Here, I want to share with you. First, in your free time try to do something useful and do not think what he is doing at this moment. Look at yourself in the mirror. Take care of your appearance and you will feel more attractive. You will convince yourself that your partner will look at you differently. Most of all do not let your imagination take control over you and do not ask a lot of questions. Relationships based on trust are happier and last longer. Try to fight over your own jealousy or help your partner to do that.

EXPERIENCE IS THE BEST TEACHER

I think that it's a norm that in every woman's life, engage, married or otherwise that we have is "victims" of infidelity. Whether we choose to be the one who cheats or whether we are cheated on, it leaves an ache in our hearts that almost finds a permanent place in one of the chambers. Be it a taste, smell or song we often reflect on that time in our lives when we were so hurt or were the cause of the heartache and believe me its not nice to be on either side of that situation.

I can openly and honestly say that I was a 'victim" of infidelity and the honest truth is I have learnt to forget or rather chose to but forgiving is still a long way off. I was according to me "happily " engaged in December last year. And now, I am busy of doing preparation for my wedding in November. I have to choose for cameraman, boutique, make-up, souvenir, wedding invitation and many more.

A few days before the engagement, my fiancée is fall down from his truck. I don’t know how it happened. At that time I was attending wedding of my cousin. I cannot straightly go to see him. His uncle brings my fiancée to the hospital. I just have a time to visit him in the afternoon. I’m very pity of him because the medicine from hospital is not helping him so much. I took him to the pharmacy and buy a medicine that can help him reduce his pain. After he takes that pill, he feels sleepy. I just watching TV when is I looked him sleeping peacefully. He might be very tired. Suddenly his phone is vibrating. There is one message in. I open his hand phone and read his message. I feel so sad, very disappointed and I feel very anger. That is so many message from girl that I don’t know where they come. One girl call him “SAYANG”, another girl call him “DARLING” and many more. If I know who send that message, honestly I will go straight to her. I will kill all of them by myself.

At that time, I send a message two or three of them and asking what is their relationship with my fiancée. I received a strange message apply informing me that they was having an affair. They are lover for many month. I confronted him and from that moment onwards my life spiraled out of control and downhill all the way.

The good thing is that being lied and cheated on changes you in a way that you never dreamed imaginable. Resilience and strength now become a quality that you could never associate with your own personality. It makes you suspect every move, person and story that you're told. It makes you question everybody and suspect everything. Sometimes it makes you feel like a fool after but how can you be blamed. Unfortunately a few too many women I know do not survive this betrayal.

Do you know what I have learnt? I have learnt that I am the most important person in my life. Without me there is no sweet aunty to lyssa, no lover or whatever. I am the center of my own being. If I know that I am putting myself in an uncompromising position and this is going to be harmful to me I extract myself no matter what the circumstances. I understand when our friends encourage separation and so forth. Do they realize that this is a person that you are in love with? Do they realize that this person has been the center of your universe? I have taught both my younger sisters (they are not the marrying age as yet) that even when they decide to marry their husbands should not be the center of their lives .He should fit in like a good puzzle piece. If he should decide to do a bunk, she still has a life albeit a piece short but they will survive with the rest.

Every woman has the ability to survive this kind of heartache. How you come out of it is the important thing. Yes we are together again and we are in stage of preparing our wedding ceremony, but every so now and again the topic comes up. One day, we can look back and laugh about it. I wish it goes away permanently someday.... IT HURTS SO MUCH YOU CAN SOMETIMES FEEL YOUR HEART PAIN!!!

UNFAITHFUL AND FORGIVENESS

Hi, I’m back. Today I’d like to talk about unfaithful in relationships and forgiveness. Why? Because without forgiving those who make the mistake, we will never be able to forget and it still be your nightmare. And when I say, "forget", I mean in the sense that the wrong will never be brought up again to hurt you.

It is very difficult to answer, why unfaithful is happen in relationship. There are a lot of reasons for cheating. People cheat because they want to be loved and desired but maybe the current partners do not give it. For me, the simple curiosity of sexual experience with different person leads to unfaithfulness. Other people able to cheat are those who look for a perfect lover. They are never faithful, because they always hope they will find a better lover than the current one.
A person becomes more involved in a serious relationship even if he ensures himself that it was spontaneous and unexpected. They start a flirt because they do not feel fully satisfied and they hope that this flirt will fulfill their sexual desires. That is what I conclude base on my experienced with unfaithful. On the other hand, unexpected flirts are created by the situation as when your partner went for a trip, they are alone and maybe they meet by chance somebody interesting. They take advantage on you. So please don’t trust him so much. I think this kind of cheating is not a symptom of some problems in your current relationship. If you experienced he’s cheating on you then it may be worth to think over your current relationship. When one of the partners cheat it means this one does not really love or is not happy in this relationship.

One psychologist says guiltiness is always a signal. If you really love him, you can have a sense when he’s cheating on you. Understanding it will protect us from cheating. In fact, a human being always fights the sexual ego - all crazy fantasies and temptations. If somebody thinks he is different probably this person denies own sexuality.

Dealing with relationship disappointment

My fiancée and I met each other about 4 years ago. In the time we have been with each other we have fallen deeply in love and have spent every free moment possible with one another. I truly and honestly believe that he is the one -- I had never believed that such a warm, loving, and basically complete man could ever exist. Through him, I have become a more proud and happy person while living the happiest time of my life.


However, I also experienced bad thing when he is disloyal to me. I know how it feels when you put high hopes on someone then you get disappointed. I know how painful it is to lose all of your hopes in one second or in singe moment. I know how can a relation be to someone before its just lost that way. But do you know why did you get disappointed in such relationship? You got disappointed because you were confident, you got disappointed because you thought that you deserve what you were going after, you got disappointed because you were having good expectations. About your attractiveness; you got disappointed because you are strong!!Just think of it, in case that you were one hundred percent sure that you won’t get it, would you have felt disappointed? Off course not, only the confident gets disappointed in relationships.

How to deal with relationship disappointment?
After you knew that you are a confident and an optimistic person, its time to learn how to get over relationship disappointment, the following practices will help you deal with your feelings of disappointment:

• He is not the one: one of most popular myths among people is believing that there is something called “the one”. If you had just a basic knowledge about the psychology of falling in love you would have knew that anyone having similarities to your “one” could be the one. You may even find someone who is better than your one, your mind just searches for certain traits, when it finds them in someone you may fall in love with him, so not finding someone other than your “one” doesn’t mean that he was the one, It just means that you didn’t meet the other person yet and that you may meet him any time soon. Don’t cry for the one, there are lots of other ones out there.






• Attachment can delay your recovery: the more you will attach yourself to that person (after the relationship is over) the more you will find it harder to get over the relationship disappointment. Attaching yourself in nothing more than having hope that he will return back, hearing music that reminds you of him and going to the same places you used to go to with him. Am not asking you to lose hope am just asking you to make sure if there is a hope or not, and if not cut the attachment as soon as you can(see the stages of recovery and how to make them shorter)






• Think of the future: what do you think the effect this event will have on you ten years later? probably It will be nothing!! it will Just be some memories with almost no associated emotions, know that in most times you correctly get rid of your attachment you will recover and become stronger than before and in the future this event will only be a part of your experience database.